At Almost 4am...

On a Tuesday morning, here I am, drinking but not drunk, weary and wary but far from sleepy and having the worst menstrual cramps I've had for months. I can't get help to bed for over 6 hours.

This is not the first time, my mind just thinks it needs to angst, hate, despair. I feel like it's old wounds surfacing from two years ago. He'd lied, told me he had left her and that he was dying of terminal cancer...then he just ended it and returned to her. He's not dying.

I hate that I can't sleep! I have no reason to be suffering any more but I AM....Because I have nothing to sleep for.

I want a reason to be rested, a light, a love......someone who is real.
TheRealWoman TheRealWoman
31-35, F
12 Responses Jul 26, 2010

It's 11.35am on October 26, 2010... and I've done it again.....far out! I SUCK. I think I need a new brain. :(

I'm glad he's gone too, but I don't want to be alone any more.

im glad that he is long gone because he certainly did not deserve you. hang in there you will make it through believe me. remember who you are and were you come from but most important you should always have your own visions and goals. we all care about you. stay strong

thabsile, this man is long gone...but still not forgotten. I will not suffer for him any longer, though.<br />
I will prevail.<br />
Thank you all for your comfort. xxx

it makes me sad to descover that you are putting your life on hold because of this guy. i believe that we came into this world as individuals, you have been living most of your life as an individual until he came along and changed things. i know it not easy, it not fair and it is not a good think to fall out of love because of so many advantages but that how life is we fall in love and fall out of love, it the way you choose to go about that will help you heal. ther is no guy who is aloud to control your life as he did not creat you, you are gods creation and only he can predict and control your life. pray hard and take yourslf out of that relationship now before its to late. believe me you will find happyness again and who knows youll be more happy without him then bieng with him<br />
<br />
stay strong!!!!!!!!<br />
all the best

Okay, just tell me if this is none of my business..but, What the hell? You can't get help for 6 hrs! That is so beyond ridiculous it's...oh hell, none of my business, but if you are someplace like that, you need to get someplace NOT like that. You should say when and when not you want to go to bed! Sorry, this just pissed me off a little. *Smile*

From my experience, it takes at least two years to overcome such heartache.<br />
Wishing you relief from the pain, good sound rest, and lots of love and joy.

real folk are hard to find.

Hugs Trw ...

dear friend, I will sleep in 4 hours for the entire day, get up for dinner and go straight back to bed. I can't let the pain win.

Oh My Gods... you are both here.... *tears well* Amazing. Take me away from the pain, if you pray hard enough it might be....

And I am at your service too ;-) xxx