Though the years I have drastically reduced the number of people that I truly consider friends.

There are many reasons for this, the main reason is that I was always the one doing the bending over backwards, going out of my way just to see a smile Etc.

One by one these so called friends proved in one way or another that when it came to bending for me.

(which wasn't asked for or needed very often) their daily routine was more important than my own feelings or needs.

After 40 years of life, I have come to expect this from most.

Accepting this as a way of life has both it's good and bad points.

Not sure why I felt I should share this, but there it is folks. : )


BlueGeorgia BlueGeorgia
41-45, M
21 Responses May 31, 2009


Wow, I guess I can relate. I have definitely had my share of dissappointments. Mostly from my sister, it seems she acts like she cares around other people but in my heart I know it is just an act. She has never been the kind of sister I wanted to have. Always a burden to our family and her own and never sincere. Holidays are a nightmare if I have to spend it with her. If she would just be honest with me and herself I could find a way to be a good sister back to her. It's too bad, however I have found happiness without her in my life. I know it sounds bad coming from me if you don't know the history. I just can't keep trying with her when it always ends in dissappointment.

Very nice comment. : ) TY trixie. : )

I just had this conversation with someone. In my twenties, I thought everyone was my friend and suffered burn after burn. In my 30's I got wiser but way too cynical. Now in my mid 40's I have struck a balance. As a result I have 5 people I feel close to and I realize it is as they say...quality, not quantity. Quoting you...My choices have pushed more away than necessary I think.<br />
but in this case there is safety in low numbers. : ) I couldn't agree more!

Someone who will give back the kind of friendship that I give.<br />
Or at least somewhere in the neighborhood.

Awwww ladeeeeeeee,,,, : )<br />
<br />
Your such a sweetheart.

I agree Blue but life changes people and that can be sad.

Best advice I can think of is choose your friends wisely. : )

Yes it does Blue! Yes it does!

I expect to get back, at least a percentage of what I give.<br />
Make sense?

As the years go by, I have experienced this myself. There are takers and users and most of all, there are givers who love you and you give in return to them.

Thanks for your thoughts.<br />
You both have very good points.

Every situation is different, though it can be a tough road to travel when you are continuously let down by people you are close to. However one must not get into the mantra that each individual is the same, and pre-judge them. Leave open the possibilities, and there will be times when you are pleasantly surprised by the results!!!!

TY LV, Those words mean a lot.

I know exactly how you feel, I am so sorry as a friend, not a close one, but someone who has benefitted from your friendship.<br />
<br />
Love and hugs

True Blue Geaorgia - but - try not to push away too many. Once you start pushing - sometimes it just becomes easier to push people away than not. But - I do completely understand the bending over backwards part. After awhile - I want someone to bend too !!! :)

My choices have pushed more away than necessary I think.<br />
but in this case there is safety in low numbers. : )

Sometimes it's necessary to "prune" the friendship tree...<br />
I've had to do it...but it always hurt.<br />
Sounds like you're going to make wiser choices now.<br />

I think we have learned the same lessons Kitten, : )<br />
Very well put.<br />
<br />
Thank you TOCIC, Somehow you made me smile with that comment. : )

I think learning that very lesson was worth all the let downs. : )<br />
<br />
I have probably left some out of my life that would have been great friends.<br />
<br />
Down side to everything, just as there are up sides. : )

Well Blue .... least you gained the wisdom to choose your friends more wisely ....