My Journey Through The World Of Lucid Dreaming


I am, by nature, a highly introspective person. From the time I first became aware of myself I wanted to learn what I could primarily through myself rather than other people. What's more I found my most lucrative source of information to be my own mind. I have a very vivid imagination and it has actually been one of my finest sources of entertainment throughout the years. In elementary school I would wander around alone, simply imagining complex worlds that followed their own rules with their own narratives and characters. But I suppose such a creative force is normal for young children (though the reclusive nature such an imagination inspired in me was something that I do not see in the majority of human beings.) I would also experiment with ways I could use my mind to trick my body into certain sensations. It started with the simple realization that while lying on my bed I could easily make it feel like it was tipping and rolling and carrying out other strange movements. Then I started experimenting with visual experiences by trying to manifest images in front of me, which I had limited success with. I also did some level of tactile experimentation, trying to feel as though I were changing forms, trying to feel phantom limbs and so on and so forth. This last part also manifested I think, in retrospect, because of my bodily dysphoria that developed through my general confusion with gender and it was only natural that I should seek some form of bodily modification. I would also have extremely vivid dreams, some that would shock me upon waking. I would be confused for so long as days afterwards, trying to separate which experience was the dream and which was the reality. This all took place in my earliest years of elementary school. Now that I recollect upon this and put it into words it is no surprise to me I ended up so strange into my young adult years.

This sensory experimentations faded with age however. But new phenomena began to manifest. I began having spells of sleeping paralysis. My first and most vivid, which I have described on this group once before, featured a large, dark looming figure at the foot of my bed, which I identified as a demon at the time. It then reached down and began strangling me, repeatedly demanding the answers of the question "who am I?" I could only

make croaking, choking sound though. I tried in vain to say that the demon was my brother, who shared the room with me at the time, though the demon would laugh and persist asking the question. The incident lasted a good while, at least as I recollect it. This experience led to a period of an intense fear of the dark and sleeping, as one might expect. I continued having experiences with sleep paralysis, however they were anticlimactic in comparison to the one I described. This was, again, all while I was in elementary school.

Some years later my brother became interested in the art of lucid dreaming and explained the concept of sleep paralysis to me. Needless to say this cleared up a hell of a lot of confusion for me. I began to explore the world of lucid dreaming myself out of an obsession for self discovery and finding new ways in which to see the world. To this point I can't recall having had a lucid dream in which I was aware I was dreaming. There were the aforementioned experiences in which dreams were indistinguishable from reality, but I had no real control over them.

I am a person without significant discipline, at least so far as making and maintaining habits are concerned. Most of the techniques to enter into the world of lucid dreaming require discipline. I preferred the idea of WILDing (Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming) because it was based less off of keeping a dream journal and performing ridiculous reality check's all the time and more off of moments of concentrated willpower, something I'm much better at. To this end I have had success. Several times I have achieved sleep paralysis from a waking state, but I have never gone to a state of lucid dreaming through a wilding session. My experiences have come at random.

Lucid dreaming experiences in approximate chronological order

Once I found a kitchen magnet in my dream whose words would continuously change. Finding this strange I had a brief moment of lucidity that faded.

Once I was feverish and I awoke in a state of sleep paralysis. Fully aware of what was happening I slipped back to sleep with the intent of lucid dreaming. All sensation of my body dissipated and I was overwhelmed by a noise that sounded something like this (perhaps this experience it why I like Merzbow so much???) along with a succession of strangely colored rectangles flying through the void and barraging me in my "face" (I had no face, I had no body.) The experience was brief, lasting only about ten seconds, however it left quite an impression on me and was an experience I will never forget. It was one of those profound experiences that's effect was purely emotional. To put is simply I saw something absolutely fantastic.

Again I was feverish and half floating on consciousness. I slipped between waking, sleeping, dreaming, and sleep paralysis sporadically throughout the day. One bout of sleep paralysis was especially profound in it's jarring capacity as I was overtaken by an extreme vibrating sensation and the feeling of my body being amorphous and stretching and compressing sporadically. At this moment I was overtaken by the realization of the opportunity I could take and I entered the dream world. Upon slipping back into a dream state I was in a room that highly resembles that of my old home's living room and it also gave off the essence of a hospital room though the room was made out of an extremely viscous, gritty, dripping substance (almost.... biological?) with these overwhelming bass like tones that would distort and detune. This experience was maintained for what felt like ten minutes or so during which I could not move or anything but I was very aware and it was all very vivid. It was worth it just to take the
moment it.

The next time didn't involve sleep paralysis at all and was by far the most rational sounding ( due to lack of illness, perhaps?) I was in math class and was worried about how horribly I was failing. I was so unaware of the material that I got up from my desk to check the curriculum. Upon looking at the material from a textbook placed upon an overhead projector I was aghast at the strange array of incomprehensible symbols that lay before me. This whole time my identity repeatedly changed; I would fluidly slide between gender race and species. Then the teacher ended. He was Fyodor Dostoyevsky. He started enthusiastically explaining the different methods to draw houses. He first showed a technical, topdown, blueprint/ furniture layout method and then a 3d photo realistic method. At this moment I stood up, said "this is bullshit" and left the class. Upon making it outside however the whole class was out there with me and Dostoevsky was pointing urgently to the building shouting something about it's beautiful edges and how he would go about drawing it. Out side of the school there was a large purple ocean with a long dock extending out into it. I didn't pay so much attention to Dostoyevsky and stared idly into the ocean, contemplating it's purpleness. Then it occurred to me, oceans are not typically purple, and Russian writers are not typically my math teacher, I'm actually relatively good at math and am not failing the class in reality, and why the hell is the teacher so obsessed with architecture? I was ecstatic upon realizing that I was within a dream and, with no reprocussions for my actions I picked Dostoyevsky up by the collar and tossed him into the ocean. I then ran away laughing maniacally. The Dostoevsky emerged from the ocean as a giant, purple, slimy monster pursuing me at which point I hopped in through the back of a car (passing through the glass of the rear window) at which point I ordered the driver to drive. He said "but there are too many people in the road" to which I responded "it's a dream, go ahead and run them over" at which point he took my advice. The monster was gaining ground when I awoke. After having written that down in words it sounds a lot zanier than I remembered it. Perhaps that speaks to my ability as a writer.


I'm sick of writing for now. There are a lot more experiences to share and if there is positive feedback I may share more of them with you guys. I might share more even if they recieve negative reception. That is all.
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2 Responses Nov 7, 2012

<p>I see how the correlation to your other post here. Dreams are just that. They dont define you but are a part of you. Being someone who has done many things with their mind I have to admit; I really enjoy doing actual, physical things better. And to be honest, I would have probably done less with my mind and more with my physical being in hind sight. With that in mind, there is nothing wrong with finding yourself. Take that with a grain of salt because when you find yourself you also need to be content with yourself instead of redefining. Being what we are, a bunch of malcontents, that is a far greater challenge IMO.</p>

I laughed about how you told the car's driver to run people over because it's a dream. :D

"Several times I have achieved sleep paralysis from a waking state, but I have never gone to a state of lucid dreaming through a wilding session." - I have tried this about 20 times now myself, and I have never gone into a dreaming state, or any state in which I experience anything that seems "sensory". I am not sure if I have achieve sleep paralysis or not. I would just lie in bed for about 20 minutes, and eventually start to feel slightly numb. After not moving for a while of that, I would start to feel like my body was not there at all, which felt very awkward and like I might die. I was not paralyzed though, I just could not feel my body at all. It seemed like I didn't have one. But the first 5-6 times I got quite scared and tried to move my body, and it moved instantly and I was instantly out of that state. So I don't know if it's sleep paralysis or not, but it was interesting. I will keep trying and see if I am ever able to "go into" any dreams.

If you want to share more, I would like to read them as well.

Don't worry, I often stay awake all night, I guess I will try it again when I do that next.