I went from having everything to being a homeless waif on the streets. with nothing on me but the slight white summer skirt and tank top i set out with. Walking the city streets in the hot summer sun, feeling like a kid again! Having lost everything and lived in such horror, this freedom was beautiful and inexplicable. I embraced the sense of having nowhere to go, no one to see, and kind (though always with ulterior motives) hands reached for me constantly.
There was a fire, many police, i had to testify against my lover for harming me, I was so afraid he'd come for me I was trying to get a gun ( i HATE guns). I can't really tell my story of 2009 in a paragraph, but alot happened beyond that, and now I'm in a safe place, with a high paying job, and being functional is the daily goal, but the problem is I dont really care! This isnt what I want. I need to know why i'm alive and accomplish that mission! I dont like to merely exist, I am basically just continuing to breathe until LOVE and Joy and synchronicity flows in waves again and I FEEL alive again, cause Im alone and I cant bare it! I NEED to understand all of me all my lives and why I am alive