Experience Project

hi i was taken from my birth mother at 5months old and ever since i found out i was adopted i was trying to search for my birth mother. i don't know what she looks like and i just want to see her but i am afraid too ask my adopted mom about her cause i don't know what her reaction would be so i just keep quiet about it and seek help without her knowing it and i am really frustrated about this cause i just want to know she is.
18-21, F
1 Response May 24, 2012

It is so important to be honest at this point in your search: honest with your own desires and motivations, honest with new relationships you develop, and honest with the family that has loved and raised you. Searching can be tricky business, and 16 is a tricky age in my opinion. I was always very open with my adoptive parents that I wanted...no NEEDED to search. I also was very clear that I was not dissatisfied or unhappy, and I was not looking to replace my family. I let them know that I was just looking for information and connections (not the family cookie recipe). I would be lying if I didn't confess to knowing that it did secretly hurt my adoptive mom a little, but in the end, she came through like a champ! I could not love them more for their support, but just between you and I, I still would have searched because something within me demanded it. I did not mean that I loved them any less, in fact, it only strengthened our relationship due to the honesty and depth of our experience.