Some Sort Of Experience.

Sad as it may be, I experienced what I consider a form of racism at a very young age. When I was little I lived in Maryland and most of the boys and girls that ran around me at recess were white with colored eyes and light hair. On the other hand, I had brown hair and eyes that were more almond-shaped rather than big, round, and beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful. I wanted to be like them; to blend in, to feel a part of something bigger than myself instead of being on the edge. I remember this day rather vividly. I was running around with my group of friends when they suddenly started talking about me. I felt surrounded and the atmosphere changed. They asked "what are you? Chinese?" I shook my head no and they'd always, always go down the line without even thinking; without even looking at my features or just simply bothering to ask me. "Japanese? Korean? Thai? Well than what are you?" They didn't even come close. They had no idea what I was and I started to feel empty. Sometimes they would leave me out and call me a thing and make fun of my eyes by grabbing the edges of theirs and pulling till they were slits.
I'm filipino... and I just wanted someone to get that right.
I know that they were little immature kids at this time, didn't even know there was a place called the Philippines, but it doesn't mean I wasn't effected by their words and actions. Sometimes I still get the occasional guesser which makes me want to explode in a fit of rage or burst into tears from the memories, but that of course would be ridiculous. Mostly now I have people ask me what I am or they ask in a polite way of curiosity; not making me as some sort of guessing game.
honeybun794 honeybun794
18-21, F
May 16, 2012