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Before I Understood

When I was about 3 or 4 a new family moved in next door and they had a little girl about my age. She and I hit it off almost immediately and she was my best friend for about 4 or 5 years. But her mom didn't approve because I am white and they were black. My friend wasn't allowed to come over very often even though she she live right next door and she was not allowed to come into our house at all. My friend was traditionally mad at me once a year at her birthday because I never would come to her birthday parties, of course I was never invited. The only time I did go to her birthday was the first one she had after she moved in, it was the only one her parents ever had at their house. The only reason I knew to go was because she had invited me herself, and yes I was the only white person there. I was sent home early, her mom said the party was over and everyone was going home, which I thought was odd because she hadn't opened her presents or anything yet. Of course the party continued long after I was gone. After that she never had a party at her houde again they were always at other places, and ususally the next day my friend would come over and tell me that she didn't want to be my friend anymore because I didn't go to her party. I would invite her every year to mine and my mom would tell her mom and her mom would always say that she would be there but then the morning of, they would go out and not come back till that evening. Being so young we didn't connect the dots or understand why we weren't allowed to hang out as much as we wanted but now I know and I don't blame my friend, but her mom had issues. It sucks that people can be so ignorant, no matter the color of skin all people are capable of giving and recieving racism and all people need to learn to accept people and look beyond the exterior of a person.

DelightfulBabe08 DelightfulBabe08 26-30 5 Responses Oct 1, 2008

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Hmm, that may be it, but it still doesn't make me feel any better about it. Thanks for the insight though, and for taking the time to come back and comment. :)

I first read this story a while back and couldn't seem to comment on it because of technical difficulties. Anyway, it seemed like the black family in your story was trying to throw the stone at you before your family through it at you. A lot of black people do that when they don't really have a lot of white friends - they do it because they don't know how to conversate with people of the opposite race. I'm not trying to make excuses for the black family but this is what I know as a black person.

I would be inclined to see your point but the mother was often around and she was very "friendly" to us. She was the kind of neighbor who would come around to borrow a cup of sugar and have a bit of a chat. Rather than being scared of us she was more just very two faced. And we also lived in a predominately black neighborhood with a lot of kids if she had wanted to she could have just ignored us all together. But she made a concerted effort to come by and talk with my parents (mostly my mom) and actually didn't talk to much with the other black families. I really don't get that women but I would say what your thinking was not the problem.

It didn't bother me so much when it was happening because I didn't know what was happening, it wasn't until I got older and would talk to my mom about it that I started to understand and then I was upset by it.

That is sad, I am so sorry. {Tear}<br />
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People can be so cruel, adults are bad cause they know exactly what they are doing.