Scared of the World

I have thought about this seriously. I have came to Kuwait to work for the US army as a away to help pay my bills off so I could stop using them as an excuse to stop living my life. I spent so much time avoiding the world I forgot how wonderful it can be.

I raked up thousands of dollars in debt and I used that as an excuse not to go out. I had to spend all my money on paying my debt off. I stop going out because well simple I was scared too. I was afraid to see and experience the world. I used my fiances and the internet as away to avoid the real world.

I was able to pay my almost $40,000 in debt  off in 6 months.  But that required me to work 7 days a week 12 hour days for 6 months.  After I got my debt paid off I decided I wanted to have money put away so I wouldnt use having to save money for emegrencies as an excuse.  So I stayed another 6 months.  Well over in Kuwait I applied and got another job that will move me to Iraq for a year.

I began to think that I was going to Iraq as another way to avoid the world.  But I realize I really am going so I cane open so many more doors for myself when I get back to the states. The job I took is a Temp promotion in the career field I love and enjoy.  It will allow me to obtain a permenat promotion when I get home much easier.  And allow me to move to the career field I want.

My life is going on track.  It might not be the way I wanted it to go but I know I will get to the point i want to be.

I will get out and see the city i live in.  I am read to get in the world again and expeience everything out there that the world has to offer.

I have become tired of not being out there, seeing, smelling, feeling and tastign the world.

Life is meant to be lived not existed.  I am lookign forward for a year from now when I am home giving my mom, dad, brother sister-in-law and my neices and nephews hugs and kisses.  I am lookign forward for the 12 months to go by so i can take a step forward and live the life I always dreamt of living

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nehowamigos nehowamigos
Mar 8, 2009