The Thin Girl Wants To Eat The Fat Girl...

You ever hear that thing people say to skinny people as they are shovelling cake into their faces- "there's a fat person trying to get out!" or something along that line... Well I am like the opposite.

When I was younger, I was fairly active, pretty good at sports. I hung out with a lot of guys and was a real tom-boy. I always felt a little insecure about my weight, never really got along with girls as much as boys. So my mum sent me to an all girls high school and suddenly I really started to care about I how I looked and what people thought of me. My best friends were tiny framed girls, size 6, size 8 (UK). I felt huge in comparison at a size 10. Of course it didn't register in my head that I was actually a hotty until I got to be around 20.

When I was 20 I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. My health got worse and worse and within a year I needed a major operation. It would not be a cure to my disease, but more like a time out. My heath had been so bad, I had had months out of work on and off, trips in and out of hospital and finally I thought this could be an end to it all, at least for a few years. 3 months into recovery I was made redundant. 3 months after that I got a new job and a new health problem- sever back and hip pains, Apparently caused by weak muscles from my operation... Great.

Over the years weight has crept up on me without me realising. I always felt like I was a slim girl at heart but the outside never really reflected that. My weight has got worse and worse, and the worse it got, the less I was happy and the more weight I gained. All the while thinking- I'm not THAT big... then catching my reflection in a mirror and feeling repulsion and shock. Who is THAT?! I guess all that time spent at home recovering from one ailment or another, feeling miserable that I was stuck at home not at work, not partying with friends, not being a young adult. Comfort Eating. Feeling Depressed. In 2 years I gained around 3 stone without realising until it was too late.

Now I am almost 23, I weigh 223lbs and I need to lose it fast! I have set myself a goal to get down to 140 lbs in less than a year, with my end reward being a super shopping spree with my mum in New York City. I pretty hefty reward for a pretty hefty goal!

I've lost 1lb in my first week- despite having a nasty Flu bug and a very bad back problem which makes it difficult to work out. I am determined to lose the weight and be that think girl I feel inside of me. This thin girl, is gonna eat away at the fat and become a happier person, and be as healthy as I can be!

**If you want to follow my journey, help keep me motivated, please feel free! Please no abuse.**
Holly117 Holly117
22-25, F
2 Responses Sep 10, 2012

good luck in your life

Holly!! Good luck dear xx I envy your shopping spree already :) I will be in the States in May. My cousin is getting married. I wish you the best of luck. Kick that other gal's ***