Love For Black People

   While growing up I was always told "you must find a white man to marry, you've got to lighten up the race" for a while I thought that was true and I tried my best to find a white man. I dated a few and almost thought I had found the one; all my family loved him. He proposed to me, and I took the ring. Then he turned into a crazy stalker and made my mother lose her job, followed me to school and sent the police to my house for whatever reason. My mother and my father separated for a while and I was devastated.

Then I could not date anyone else because I was traumatized by these event.

I am light skin half Pakistani and half Honduran. I don't think I am that dark. Now that I am older I wonder what my family thought about their own skin color. 

Lately I have dated a few black people and I once told my mom and she said "well, it's you who will carry that black creature" I felt heartbroken.

I don't know but lately I have been attracted to black men, I feel like this is some kind of reverse psychology where I do the exact opposite of what I was told.

I don't know what to do because I feel bad about hiding this from my mom yet at the same time I feel bad I am dating a black man.

What should I do? 

PrettyLittleBoobs PrettyLittleBoobs
18-21, F
2 Responses Nov 30, 2012

The skin tone is just a detail, you are beautiful regardless of it.

Things that matter in relationships are sincerity, communication and any other qualities that make your relationship thriving and beautiful.

I suppose that the easy thing to say is "follow your heart" but that is a tough problem when your heart is divided between your parents and the person that you love. I would suggest that it is time to have a heart to heart with your mother and find out what her real feelings are about black men and why she feels that way. What she discloses should allow you to decide this issue. Good luck.

Thank you, yes I have asked her what the grounds of her argument are, but she does not have a concrete answer. I will talk to her again maybe if I ask more often she will tell me more about it. Thanks a lot!