Manic Phase And Depressive Phase: Living With Bipolar Disorder

I had been in the Depressive Phase of this Bipolar Disorder. I don't like this because I feel less energy, and less motivated to do anything. I had been putting off my homework, and doing the things I like.

Now I am beginning to enter the Manic Phase and I feel energetic, but frustrated because I need to get my homework done. At the same time I feel like I have all the time in the world because I can do anything I wish, and I will make it come true, as a result of these mixed feelings I continue to procrastinate and have not done much progress in completing my homework.

I wonder what will happen to me, I mean I know if I continue to be this way I will never graduate college, and I will never find a job, and I will be unhappy for the rest of my life. I wish there was a way in which I could find the truth and be normal like everyone else. I want to have a stable mood. I feel frustrated not because I have not done my chores and homework, but because I can tell when I am entering these two phases, and I feel like I can do nothing about it.

I feel excited when I am in the Manic Phase because I don't feel much pain, and I need to sleep less, and I feel like I can do more things, and get all I want done, but I never do.

I am afraid of the Depressive Phase because I feel like I will never come out of it. I feel hopeless, and empty. I can see myself in an empty room. It is dark and lonely 
PrettyLittleBoobs PrettyLittleBoobs
18-21, F
Nov 30, 2012