Better Than Talking...

I've never been good at expressing myself verbally. I was always a shy kid, and I got made fun of and bullied in school. Never was sure why, but whatever. Most of those ******* got 5 kids 6 baby daddies and moochin off the government and their 3rd cousin twice removed. But I digress...

I kept a journal from the time I was 9 or 10. Wrote down **** I was afraid to say, feelings I couldn't get out, dreams left unspoken, and alot of random stupid things that a ten year old could find important. But I told all my troubles to countless pieces of paper, in who knows how many spiral and composition notebooks, ran out of ink, sharpened pencils down to the eraser and wrote markers dry. Would love to go through all those notebooks now and read what I wrote back then..

I learned to speak up for myself along the way, and not be so much of a doormat, but I still have issues with it. I can be bold and definitely tell you about yourself, give you a piece of my mind, but still the emotions can get the best of me, and I end up crying, or getting so mad that I have to hit something...which reminds me I need to fix that hole in the wall...

I guess I've held in so much anger and sadness that it overwhelms me, and I can't speak. I don't have much trouble expressing happiness...trust me you KNOW when im happy lol. But it's the depression, the anger, the rollercoaster going on inside me that's hard to express. Which is why I thank God for whoever created the tools needed to put my thoughts onto paper.
launica87 launica87
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 5, 2013

I think it does one good to vent .It always makes me feel better.

True that's why im glad I found this site :)