Signed By A Broken Spirit~The skipping beats of my heart
Lets me know I am still alive
The feeling of loss , let's me know I can still feel
How to climb out of the dark hole
No one really knows
The fact that I can still wake up in the morning
Lets me know , I have a purpose
Is it just my mind that has been playing tricks on me?
Or am I really that far gone?
I really don't want to be
I lay in the darkness and I close my eyes
All the memories they still haunt me
Why can't they just go away
I am sure this grief is not shared with people who caused it
So why does it still have to interrupt me?
You can tell me a thousand times,
Its part of life, everyone goes through this , you are not the only one
People say this because they think it will help
I only wish that it did
The pain and anger I hold deep inside is something that has probably been there for years
Over time I did teach myself a few tricks to cope, but now as time is moving I am still standing still
and my coping skills are dying as fast as my spirit is breaking
Breathless some days
Weak and feeling sore
Wishing I could just let go
Dying is not an option but yet I question the feelings I am having is it all worth living?
I go to work in the morning and I come and I write or I sleep and on the weekends I try to surround myself with friends and good company
I am doing the things that a normal girl in her 30's should, but yet I feel so incomplete
Struggling with the bills like everyone else
Trying to survive really again like everyone else
I have made plenty of mistakes I am not alone on this one either
I have also worked harder then most by going back to school and reaching my goals and finding a career
The other day I was ready to throw it all away
How did I get here?
I really wish I could write something special, something to warm a heart for valentines day
But I have yet to find the right words to just that
So instead I write my hurt out on this screen in hopes that it will go away
I just need that one day again, that one chance to get me back on my feet
To make my life work the way that it was meant to be