Some Times I'm Not Even Sure Anymore

WHERE DO I START, WELL I GUESS I STARTED DRESSING AT AGE 5 AND I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A LOVE FOR STOCKINGS, PANTYHOSE, TIGHTS, LACE PANTIES
NIGHT GOWNS, HIGH HEELS AND RATHER SHEER LINGERIE IN GENERAL

I WAS A SOUTH BEACH CLUB KID FROM THE AGE OF 14-18, AS I WAS RAISED IN MIAMI, FLORIDA FROM AGE 5-19

ONE DAY I TALKED SOME FRIENDS INTO RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME AND COMING WITH ME TO LIVE AND HUSTLE ON THE BEACH, YET DUE TO CERTAIN DISAGREEMENTS WE EVENTUALLY DECIDED TO PART WAYS

DUE TO WHAT I THOUGHT WAS MY LOYALTY, I WAS IMMEDIATELY GIVEN A PLACE TO LIVE FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TIME THAT I WISH TO REMAIN ON THE BEACH

I WAS TAKEN BY MY NEW ACQUAINTANCE TO THE RESIDENCE OF A LOCAL ******** AND DRUG DEALER

WHILE AT THE STRIPPERS APT. SHE AT SOME POINT BEGAN TO PLAY WITH MY DREAD LOCKS ( WHICH WERE A LITTLE PASS SHOULDER LENGTH ), AS SHE WOULD TELL ME HOW CUTE I WAS AS A BOY AND THAT I WOULD BE EVEN PRETTIER AS A GIRL

AS THE BOTH OF THEM CONTINUED TO SPEAK THIS WAY TO ME, I BEGAN TO FEEL STRANGE, IT WAS IF THEY WERE EXPOSING ME FOR WHO I TRULY WAS YET RATHER THAN BEING SCARED, THAT SOME HOW THEY NEW MY SECRET
I FELT SOME WHAT AROUSED BY THEIR APPROVAL

SHE THEN ASKED ME IF I HAD EVER THOUGHT OF DRESSING BEFORE, AND THAT IS WHEN I TOLD HER MY TRUTH, IN THAT I HAD ALREADY BEEN DRESSING FROM THE AGE OF 5 BY THAT POINT BEING 14 OR 15

IT WAS MY FIRST TIME ACTUALLY BEING ON SOUTH BEACH OTHER THAN A SCHOOL FIELD TRIP WHEN I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

IN ANY CASE, SHE ASKED IF I WOULD ALLOW HER TO DRESS ME UP AND TURN ME INTO A GIRL

SHE TOLD ME THAT WITH MY BODY TYPE, SIZE, AND FEATURES, THAT BY THE TIME SHE WAS DONE WITH ME, NO ONE WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL

WELL GUESS WHAT, I LET HER AND SHE BOUGHT ME NEW CLOTHS AND EVERYTHING TOLD ME THAT I WOULD BE HER NEW LITTLE SISTER, I WAS SO ******* HAPPY I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN IT

ONE EVENING SHE DID MY MAKE UP, HAIR, NAILS, EVERY THING
WHEN SHE WAS DONE, EVERY ONE JUST LOOKED AT ME IN AWE AND ACCEPTANCE, PERHAPS EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF LUST

LATER THAT EVENING WE WOULD ALL GO TO THE ***** CLUB AND THEN OUT TO DINNER AND CLUBBING, SHE WAS WITH HER BOYFRIEND, ( THE DRUG DEALER ) WHILE OUR MALE FRIEND WHO HAD INTRODUCED ME TO THE COUPLE WOULD BE MY DATE FOR THE NIGHT

THIS WOULD BE THE STARTING POINT FROM WHENCE I BECAME AN M-F TRANSGENDERED FEMALE

ALL AND ALL, I HAD AN AMAZING NIGHT AND OVER ALL ADVENTURE, AND IT WOULDN'T SOON BE THE LAST


TO BE CONTINUED........
trans1 trans1
26-30, T
1 Response Sep 13, 2012

NOT EXACTLY,YOU SEE, I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE BOTH MALE AND FEMALE, AND NEITHER AT THE SAME TIMEI HAVE A NATURAL BIOLOGICAL SCHEDULE WHICH FORCES ME TO BE MALE OR FEMALE DEPENDING ON THE SEASONSPRING- MALE AND FEMALE.SUMMER TO MID FALL- MALE.MID FALL TO SPRING- FEMALE.IT HAPPENS NATURALLY, AT FIRST I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME, BUT OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS I HAVE NOTICED THE PATTERN AND SUBSEQUENTLY IDENTIFIED MY SELF AS EITHER TRANSGENDER'ED OR ANDROGYNOUS NATURALLY I AM AN ANDROGEN, YET MY APPEARANCE FLUCTUATES DEPENDING ON MY HORMONE USAGE AND THE TIME OF YEARIN MY HEAD I AM BOTH A BOY AND A GIRL, BUT PRIMARILY A GIRLYET I STILL BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT I WILL NOT TRULY BE HAPPY UNTIL THE DAY THAT I TRANSITION FULLY INTO THE ROLE AND ACTUALITY OF A WOMANPERHAPS THIS IS SIMPLY A WAY TO PROTECT MY SELF AND CONCEAL MY TRUTH FROM THOSE WHO NEED NOT KNOWPERHAPS UNTIL THE DAY THAT I AM CONFIDENT ENOUGH AND PASSABLE ENOUGH TO MAINTAIN MY FEMININE PRESENCE INDEFINITELY