I Have No Logic..i Think?

first of all i want to blame my self from being so dumb..

here goes my story:

well i failed my LOGIC midterms exam..and only managed to pass 3 out of 6 quizzes..so if you compute my grades..it is still a failure...i don't know what is happening to me..its not that i don't like logic..or my professor(even though he is well know as a terror professor and always shouts and ridicule students ) in that subject..its just that..everytime i go to his class i'm always getting a "mental block" state..i'm always on top of the class in my section..but when its logic time..i'm like the most stupid guy in the world that don't even know what is the meaning of LOGIC..i tried many times to study it..but i don't know..when its logic ,the information that i've gathered in my brain just disintegrate.

i've been a good student..since i entered my college..i'm always top in my class.My mother is a single parent(and considered by everyone here as a very intellectual person)and expect more on me(ALWAYS)..and i'm pressured to do so..she always tells me that i'm dumb even though i always gets good grades..and now that i failed my midterms exam in logic i will look dumber..

there is still a FINAL exam few weeks from now...but i'm now doubting my self if i can pass it(i have to pass the quizzes too!)..i have no confidence..this is the first time i failed..and its very painful...

you see i don't really like studying(my heart tells me) but my brain also tells me that studying is the key to success...i'm not that excited when it comes in studying...it doesn't interest me at all(but sometimes though when the topic  is intriguing)..my study habit is like this..let's say i have 8 hours of free time..7 hours of it goes in playing/goofing around and 1 hour studying...believe or not,even though this is my study habit when i read something like math or physics or what ever the subject every students hates..i just eventually get it(fast)..but logic is a different case..i don't know...i just get pissed when i read every single word from it...something at the back of my mind tells me that its lame..

 

PS: i still did not told my mother that i failed that midterms in logic..she will not understand it..what ever the reason..she expects perfection in me..and its hard being me..the pressure is always there..its like carrying a big boulder behind your back everyday..and when a single pebble part of that boulder drops to the ground..the planet will blow up..

 

 

i know its my responsibility to study and i 'm blaming my self to the fullest on what just happened...either i underestimated that subject or i'm just too dumb to understand it..i'm feeling sorry for my mother who is working hard to finance my studies...i'm really sorry...i guess my mother is right that my brother is better that me ten times...i don't know what to do now...i want to cry..but i know crying will not make me smarter..

 

i know that i can do better...i just know it..but i can't do it..(one of the traits that i really hate the most about my self is that i'm lazy..super lazy...when i read something and it starts to get lame i will just stop..i have this "shut out" syndrome...)


gingco gingco
18-21, M
1 Response Oct 23, 2009

Honestly, i know the feeling myself. Lately i have been questioning my logic as well, because for some reason, i sometimes fail the easiest of tasks, despite being able to work with much harder ones. I'm also one of the top students in my class and both my parents happen to be very intelligent . They don't pressure me too much now, probably because they try to boost my confidence, but it just doesn't happen. I think i'm completely dumb with an IQ lower than an ostrich's and it just kills me how, at some point i seem to have these brain "black-outs" in which i cannot concentrate or my mind just flies off. I have always found it easy to memorize things and maybe that's why i've pushed this thought onto myself that i have a talent, i have good genes and i should get everything easy. But now, i fail to believe that i still am as gifted as i thought... despite the good grades, which in my opinion (and i don't know why) i don't deserve.<br />
I soon have an entrance exams and if to be honest my confidence is below zero, especially since there is an IQ test and students are mostly accepted if they have a high IQ. I have solved several IQ tests last year and i actually got results above average, but now... i don't know, i just don't seem to concentrate or maybe my IQ and logic has simply dropped... radically.<br />
I don't know what to do and most likely this problem of mine, will stay unsolved a long, long time...