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My First Time.....

Scuba diving has and still plays a huge role in my life... From an Open Water student...I completed my Advanced Open Water. Less than a year later..I took up Rescue Diving as well and follows by being an Emergency First Responder (EFR) and O2 Provider as well.  On top of all that.. I even took up Nitrox Air (EANx) and Digital Underwater Photography Course. 

Believed me, I passed every single one of the exams.

2 weeks ago, I sat for my first Dive Master theory exam..and I failed my 2 papers which is supposed to be the easiest..   Not only did I failed...I failed BADLY in one of the papers too. 

I felt disappointed with myself...I felt like a failure. :/

J and I were suppose to complete the Dive Master together...but life had changed and he proceed the course much earlier than me. He got thru them...   I am not sure if it is because of the fact I am still hurting inside trying to accept the fact that J had broke his words bout us doing the DM together that makes it so hard for me to move on ...or could it be I am just not ready to become a DM...

I have to admit, him not fulfilling the promise he made did hurt me badly couple of months back... I thought I got over it.....but I guess I have not fully recovered yet.  No no..I am not blaming him for my own failure... I am taking full responsiblity for not preparing myself for the exams... Only my mind is pretty much disturbed which I didn't even realise until I held the exam papers that morning. Not sure when I will be ready to re-sit for the exams.....or will I ever complete my DM course?

As far as I know.... I am not ready now...

Eternal Eternal 31-35, F Feb 4, 2010

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