Still Recovering Mentally :/ Cana I Get Some Advise?

I'm 17 years old, I've been taking anti-depressants (zoloft) since I was about 9.. For years, there wasn't one day I haven't thought about killing myself.

I have a descent life, but for the past few months everythings been going downhill. Expecially my relationship with my parents. On 030910, I was feeling really over whelmed with EVERYTHING that was going on; I knew I needed someone to talk to before I did something stupid. I went to my Mom and said "Can I talk to you please?" she said "No" (She was angry from an argument that happened earlier that day)



Than everything just went kookoo, I ran up stair, swallowed a bottle of 325mg aspirine, and about 10 melatonins to put me to sleep. I fell asleep. I woke up at midnight and couldn't breathe, I tried to stay calm; I honestly just wanted to lay there and die. Suddenly I thought of my little brother, his life is bad enough as it is; losing me would devistate him...I needed to stay alive. I ran downstairs and told my Mom what happened; she took me to the hospital; I was there for about 18hours, than on bed rest for 24hours.

I'm now on suicide watch by my teachers and coaches. I started counseling on Thursday.

This is my problem: Only two of my friends know; and my relationship with them is better. But I'm so distant from all my other close friends; they can tell there's something wrong with , their getting so angry with me because I won't tell them, and I want them to know- but I don't want to tell them, just because I don't feel comfortable telling people about my personal life.

 

Should I tell my other close friends what happened? I feel like I can't act myself if I don't tell them. Or should I wait awhile?

And I feel like I'm traumetized by the incident, I think about it 24/7 and the people I have hurt. I can't focus on anything else; will I ever get over it?

Lexxyo Lexxyo
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

I think you need to do waht you feel comfortable with. Explain to your friends that you will tell them when you can dont cause yourself too much anxiety.

I think you need to do waht you feel comfortable with. Explain to your friends that you will tell them when you can dont cause yourself too much anxiety.

I think you need to do waht you feel comfortable with. Explain to your friends that you will tell them when you can dont cause yourself too much anxiety.