Defeated.

I was young...Happy... Full of life, Everyone else still thinks I'm that kid...
The kid in the middle seat, The happy go-lucky guy, The one who never hates.
But no.
I hide behind a cover.
My heart aches every moment.
I force the muscles in my face to smile. But they only hurt.
So much stress...
The stress received from home...The stress received from my past... On top of that my studies...
It's almost our Intramurals... It's a program where everyone plays their sport.
I never go to practice.
Every time we're forced to dance...The only thing I feel is pain... The horrors...
All the songs and dance moves were supposed to be gender-friendly. But no.
It's a school that is ruled by girls...
Us boys...
We...
Are slaves...
We have no free will.
We struggle to stay afloat while they fly speeding past their problems...
I was always the last in my studies...
I never liked going to school. I hated my language.

I protested for our rights... The rights for us males....
I failed.

I...Was defeated.
edmart3 edmart3
13-15
1 Response Jan 8, 2013

I am much older than you, but I truly understand every word you said. I'm so sorry. It's been that way for me for many years. I have so many masks I've hidden behind that they almost
take over. I have ADHD and did not find out till grown and that was a real eye opener but I
did not like finding out about myself during treatment and counseling for "it" but it really sucked to find out late in life.
After the diagnosis, I was relieved to know just what was wrong with me, but it was not long before I was very angry about the not knowing, and now it's just very deep, dark depression .
I remember doing things and having fun, but how much had been me and how much the ADHD that showed as someone else?
I talk too much, when I'm talking at all, so forgive the long comment. But your story just jumped
out at me and I had to respond.
Please take care: and know other people have your feelings too (like me). I only tell you the last to let you know you are not alone, I know that does not help but my words come with true
empathy.

BCBoomer 58

It's been that way since our school allowed boys in...
Probably about 50 years... Or even longer...