Hard To Bridge A Gap When Only One Person Is Trying

I attended a brother's funeral last month. I had not seen him for many years.
There was a falling out years ago that I never really understood. Then my husband took a transfer away which brought vast distance between us. The last few years on the occasion when he answered the phone I tried to extend a conversation. He was civil but quickly passed the phone over. This affirmed the relationship that he wanted with me. When I was informed of his passing I knew in my heart that I had tried to reconcile. I attended the funeral believing that this was a coming together to celebrate and remember his life. I thought this could be a bridging of the gap as I had very positive phone calls from my other brothers and sisters prior to the service. I haven't been to a funeral of a relative before so my understanding was eulogies were used to say positive tributes of that person. During the first eulogy a sibling made a remark during the speech that identified me negatively. Naively, I wasn't expecting this. I felt the sting of this but mustered up the courage that I was there to celebrate his life as I knew him and thought of all the good memories I had of him. I was hoping to gather with family after the formalities and they said they would meet up with me. Later I found that they had gone to meet for a private dinner at a restaurant. My husband and I spent a few more hours with my parents at their home then made our way back to the airport. I sent my siblings a pleasant phone message to say we were about to fly home but didn't receive a response. They must of thought I was a hypocrite for attending the funeral but it seems that they never learnt about the times I tried to reconnect with him. Other than my ageing parents, it seems that I have been shut out of all their lives. I would appreciate any readers comments how I can forge a relationship with my brothers and sisters, it seems that I am the awkward relative. Dawn
Bonhu Bonhu
51-55, F
Sep 24, 2012