My Struggle

I joined EP because I wanted to share some experiences I had without hurting my current relationships. It was supposed to be strictly anonymous, without talking to anyone. I was amazed at the response and started getting tons of emails. It was fun at first and I casually chatted with a couple guys. One in particular caught my eye and we started chatting. He was easy to talk to and sexy as hell lol. We were both dealing with things in our marriage and had a lot in common. He encouraged me to get a yahoo account and we started talking on chat. Eventually things heated up and our chats intensified. I began to fantasize about him regularly and sharing those ideas with him. Then one day our chat was really good and I got carried away. I sent him pictures of me and got really into it. At the same time I started feeling really guilty. I was fantasizing more than I should and chatting when chores needed to be done. When my baby was crying. I was consumed. I ended it and stayed away from EP, yahoo, the internet in general.

That lasted a couple months and then hubby made me mad one night and I started EP again. My guy was on and we started chatting again. All the emotions rushed back and we chatted last night. He makes me feel so sexy and special. I am conflicted because when I start chatting with him I just want more, but then when I am with my hubby and kids I feel guilty about it. I fantasize about him all the time, but know its wrong.

Does anyone else have a similar situation? Any ideas on what I should do?
Sarbear1984 Sarbear1984
26-30, F
6 Responses May 12, 2012

If you'd like a penpal you can talk to about everyday things I'm here . It doesn't have to be anything sexual , could be just how your day is going . You could ask for advise , I've been around and have a lot of experience . You know we'll never meet and anything you talk about will not be shared with anyone .

i have a similar situation but not on EP but in person with a friend
its horrific to be not together but we make up when we are
its important to make oneself happy
definitely there is a gap which that person fills not current one
what are u gona do about that?
are u going to leave the gap as it is?
are u going to take charge?
depends on kind of person u are

It is possible to have a non-threatening relationship online but it's always going to be risky, especially when you have actually met them, and like them. I think you then need to discover non-sexual common ground so if you are discovered it is totally innocent.

I had a very romantic email buddy and we kept it up for 10 years ,discussed everything from our daily lives to sex. We shared everything. I'm not sure if I could say I was in love with him but I told him I was. I dreamed about leaving my family for him and running away. He occupied every spare thought that I had. Truly always on my mind. We spoke on the phone a few times during that time. Mostly just casual but also a couple steamy calls. My husband found out once and freaked out but soon we worked it out. Then a few years later he found another email this one particularly damming. It's addictive . I was surprised as my marriage was falling apart how easy it was to leave my email buddy behind. I refused to even think about him. I honestly don't think I'd want to see him if I ever found him becauseit ruined my life. And we NEVER even met. It didn't matter to my husband. He didn't leave me but he treated me horribly. After a few years i realized he would never forgjve me and i left him. So now im on EP and it's fun but I'd love a real life relationship and don't feel like I deserve one since I messed up my last one. The one that should've been forever . All for a man who emailed me every once in awhile and said nice things to me. I feel so foolish.

Sometimes you can only safely display parts of your personality anonymously. I have seen how addictive that can be. But I also think that it can be helpful to have that outlet.

I've had the same kind of experience. It's really easy to fall in love while chatting with someone online. Over the years I've had several online friends turn into emotional connections where all you can think about is talking to that person. I've only had one spark up since I was married and the girl one day just stopped going online and it faded away. I was crushed. It seems so stupid now looking back, but that thrill you feel is real and it seems like love at the time. I've met a couple people in person that I have met online (before I was married) and it's not really the same. It's funny how when you chat with someone all of the their good points come flowing through, but the bad parts never show themselves. It's got to be hard to be in a relationship when you're an attractive woman. Lots of very charming and handsome men will say and do anything to get you to notice them. Maybe your husband needs a subtle reminder that his wife is still hot and needs to keep his game up. When I see guys noticing my wife and trying to flirt with her I know it's time to step it up.