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I Guess I Do

They say the first step to recovery is admitting it...

I have a fear of becoming fat. And I let that completely rule my eating habits.

I have still yet to hit the 10 Stone mark on the scales. At the moment, I'm sort of yo-yo-ing...I'll have a day or two of eating whatever I feel like, and then spend the next few days cutting back until I drop 4 or 5 lbs again. I guess it's because that 10 is such an easy target. It's double figures. Once I break double figures, that's it, there's no concrete restriction for my weight. After all, what would be next? triple figures?

I don't know....Both of my parents are kind of overweight, and they both used to be really slim when they were younger. And they've both told me how easy it was to fall into the trap of gaining weight, that once you start it's so hard to stop. I don't want to learn that lesson for myself.

I don't know! There's just something deep down in me that dreads the idea of putting on weight.
Emptysoul30 Emptysoul30 22-25, M 8 Responses Jun 11, 2011

Your Response


I have never been fat . I have always weighed between 100 to 105lbs. I have weighed the same since I was 18. Oh except when pregnant with my seond I gained half my body weight ugh! I could not even bend over to put on shoes wore slip ons the last few months. I do not actively stay slim but I eat very healthy and excercise daily . It must be genetic my mother was a fitness instructor,ballroom dancer and foody.

Nah, I don't think she thinks that at all. She meant I'd put on weight in a good way, but it's kind of a running joke that I take offence at everything.<br />
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If I thought otherwise, I would GLADLY tell them to f*** off! XD

Do you actually believe she thinks your fat? I know people that are very skinny, but have always been that way. I think it can be very damaging if people are constantly commenting on the way you look. Are you able to ignore other people's comments? (or tell them to f*** off lol)

LOL so today one of the girls at work told me she'd noticed I'd put on weight, and then got someone else to confirm it. I made a deal of how she was blatantly calling me fat (XD) but I don't know...I don't know if I'm happy about it or not. Maybe I'm just permanently indifferent now :P

I know it's not healthy. That's actually why I let myself climb up from where I was.<br />
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It depends what you call "actively" losing weight. I don't change anything except how much I eat. Like, some days I'll get a footlong Subway sandwich, a cookie, a chocolate bar and a drink to boot just for lunch. But then on other days I'll have just a 6" Sub or something, and keep that up until I drop the weight again.<br />
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Yeah. Not healthy. But I've decided I'm going to change. This week I've taken the decision to swap the snack items I have at lunch for fruit instead, hopefully feeling the benefit in the future.<br />
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I'm still fighting myself over whether or not to cross that 10 stone line. Part of me really does want to, because if I did that then I could probabky motivate myself to get a decent eating regime in place and maybe start working out a little :P

Why is gaining weight such a fear for you? Do you actively try to lose weight at the moment?<br />
I'm overweight at the moment, but I have also been skinny. I can tell you I feel pretty much the same way about myself now as I did when I was skinny.<br />
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I think you need to be honest with yourself and think about what the real issue is for you. Remember being skinny is not necessarily the same as being healthy. Try to educate yourself on the right foods to eat so you can stay healthy without trying to be skinnier. I hope you find some peace and you will learn to accept yourself

5` 11". And yeah.

It's a weight. 14 lbs to 1 stone. So basically, I've never been at or more than 140 lbs.<br />
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That comes out to roughly 63.5 Kg.