How Do I Get Out???

I've known my husband for almost about a decade now.  We've been married for at least 5 years now and we had the worst fight lastnight.  We argued over him not sharing the responsibility of taking care of our children, we have three.  I was very exhausted as I had an excruciating migraine, and I was in a very angry state.  I lectured him how selfish he was and told him he needs to carry some of the weight around at home, he ignored me telling me to shut up and went to sleep while i had to cater for my kids' needs who were all crying over something.  I had enough and told him that our marriage won't survive.  I took my wedding rings off and chucked them into the drawer, within seconds he jumps up and starts punching my head a couple of times..... I cried out loud and begged him to stop....he got annoyed that i started crying!!!! and so he pulls my hair and orders me stop crying...but i screamed louder hoping my neighbours would hear and help me.  No one came to check up on us, maybe because they would never interfere with a big bloke like my husband.  He has a very intimidating look about him.  What was worse.....he hit me in front of my kids.  My kids were just in shock and did not make a sound, maybe fear that their dad was going to do something to them.  Frankly I wish something bad happened to him so i don't have to go through the embarrasment of leaving him and everyone in my family finding out and being the talk of the year.  My head still hurts and today i'm still crying....only because i have no idea what to do. I'm a beautiful person inside and out and rarely get angry at my husband but when I do, he doesn't want to listen and his solution to everything is to beat me up till i shut up!!! Please help! I really don't know what to do.
lady6 lady6
4 Responses Jun 17, 2011

i just read your story. How are you today?

Please listen to what they are saying to you and act now. Don't wait. Give yourself a fresh chance at life and love. I wish I could communicate this to everyone who suffers violence at the hands of those they love. My family are catholic and also very proud. I waited 36 years before I thought of myself. Please get out. Don't be like me. They never change. I know.

Hi smitten321,<br />
<br />
Thank you for your encouraging words!!!! I will definitly do my best, as I want to do it for my kids! I've lost count on how many times I have told my husband 'this is the last time you'll ever touch me!!' I don't know why he is the way he is, as he wasn't always like that. But I'm just glad that I can acknowledge that I am in an abusive relationship and I have to do something about it now. I don't want my daughters growing up and thinking it's normal or ok that their future partner's are bashing them up. I think it's at it's worse and I don't believe my children and I deserve any of it at all. And if my family are upset with it then they don't really love me. Pride is big in my family, which SUCKS BIG TYME!!!!! Thank you for your comment and your prayers as well. I pray too for strength and courage. Take care and God bless. xo

Please, find a way out of the relationship. It won't matter if you are the talk of the family, if anything your family would be supportive, I believe. How do I know? I've been there, but in a worse situation, where I feared for my life, and my children's. Lord only knows why he didn't pull the trigger that one day years ago, but he didn't. I was desparately trying to plan my way to leave that man, it's not easy especially if you have been threatened to be hunted down and killed if you try to leave. I hope for your sake, your situation isn't that horrible, because it makes it that much harder to leave due to fear. I however, got off easy, my husband died 2 weeks after that night he held the gun to my head. I kept the abuse a secret for fear of the reactions from family. But, when it finally did come out, my family was supportive and I realized they would have been there for me when I would have tried to leave him. Long story short, reach out to those closest to you, family or friends, let them know what is going on. Don't worry about the pride thing, it's not your fault your husband is abusive. But please find help before it gets any worse. Nobody should have to go through that and the kids shouldn't have to witness this stuff either. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your kids.<br />
Best of luck to you and my prayers are with you.