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Need Help, Am I Being Verbally Abused??

hi.

um i joined this becuse i need help.

im in a relationship now which has been going on for 2.5 years and it has been great. at the start the "boy" was nice, caring, giving, loving, it was just amazing.

it started when i broke up with an ex to be with the boy and he didnt like that the break up took so long.

i fell in love with the boy and thats why i wanted to be with him.

now he is not what he used to be. he is now belimic becuase he blames ppl telling him im too good for him and since then he has lost 30kg, and blames me for the pressure. even thou ive loved him no matter what.

he earns more than double of what i do and he spent money on me as i did him, but whatever i did eas never enough. i didnt take him to as many 5 start hotels as he did. i didnt buy as much presents... i have gone threw a lot of money and i simply cannot afford to.

we have had fights and problems becuase i have friends who he doesnt like. one who lives 8 hours away from me becuase a few years back i deeply liked him. and since then. i am not allowed to be friends with him.

now he has started to call me names, like *****, loser, you've let yourself go, putting me down, and also turning friends away, saying they think you are stupid and dumb, talking badly of my family who only try to help me. telling me i should go throw up and gabs my stomach. ( note im not overweight, im a normal size)

he punches himself in the head when angry and has grabbed me and pushed me around when we are in an argument.

he does all this phyco stuff and then later says how he does all this good for me and how i dont try enough, its like this cylcle, and though i love him, it hurts and i think to end it would be best.

i feel like im missing out on a lot of stuff. seeing friends.. never see them much anymore, i just feel so tired, weak, scared, depressed all the time now. is this becuase of my relastionship? what should i do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

fighter6 fighter6 18-21 6 Responses Apr 30, 2008

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I lived for 19 years in a verbal abbusive marriage, too scared to do anything, he died in 97, not before taking me without consent. All I can say to you now is get as far away from him as possible, cut all ties and dont look back. Good luck hun....be happy

I think you need to get out of it now it isint love if hes yelling at you and telling you you are no good and all this stuff you need to leave now he is holding you back you deserve to be happy and it sounds like you are not happy with him get out go see youre family go spend time with youre friends a relationship is suppose to be a team effort not you do i do nothing that isint love go find a real guy the one that you know is right for you i wish you nothing but the best that life has to offer good luck

If you have to ask, you know the answer, he is abusive because he is very manipulative.<br />
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It's totally unfair for him to expect you to spend so much money on him when he makes more than double you do. Love isn't about how much you spend.<br />
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He's using you as a scapegoat and punching bag for his miseries and it's not right.<br />
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Break up now- sooner or later the verbal abuse becomes physical abuse.

A degree of conflict exists in every relationship. Some relationships are more volatile because of great passion and external stresses from outside. But when the conflict makes you feel uncomfortable all the time, unhappy all the time, depressed, then you need to act. This relationship has taken a wrong turn along the line, you need support or couples therapy, fast, before you get hurt more physically, I think you may even need therapy if you decide to seperate because when you are in love you find it hard to walk away even though you feel so unhappy. You need to decide if this is the relationship for you, if you want to be together, he needs to get help for his anger and bulimia, try not to blame, try to stay calm and take one step at a time.

I agree with Lexus, get out quick. A relationship is only as healthy as the people in it and yours is not healthy at all. Godd luck and God Bless... Hugs

I cant figure out the basis of the relationship...as in why are either of you in it.<br />
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What does he love about you? What do you love about him?<br />
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What you describe screams unhealthy relationship. I suggest running for your life...<br />
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{{Hugs}}