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Violent Relationships....kill

A friend that I met here, just a few days ago, has committed suicide. Her user name was Paulaforever. We met through a question that she asked. We communicated, and because of the post she wrote, I became aware of her violent history.

She had been beaten, just days before. The boyfriend was responsible for the battery, and was  temporarily in jail. Paula, did go into hiding. She gave up ownership to half of the home, just so that she could  go into hiding and not be located. She quit her job for the same reason.  But you see, you can't run from the fear inside you, the panic inside you, and  so that fear and panic took over.. 

Violent relationships, are evil, and if you know someone dealing with that type of life, please reach out, try to help and encourage them to  leave. I was only an acquaintance of Paulaforever,  through EP, and a new acquaintance, and so I  had little impact. But I am glad I at least tried.

People matter, what happens to them matters. How you treat each other matters. 


I want to add a post script.

Daveylovesyou, is the  ex of Paula, and the father of her 2 children..he tried to help Paula..he offered her safety, but she was too afraid to accept.If  you can, please offer comfort and condolences to Daveylovesyou, because  he too is a victim in this. To find him, look at my profile, Davey is the first friend...


neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 42 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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This story chills my spine. Dear Neuilly, you were a blessing to her in her last days. Your friendship must have seemed golden at such a time. Thank you for being the person you are. We at EP need more people like you. {{{hugs}}}

Thank you enna, and i did follow your suggestion that you sent me in a pm , and did create a ..."in memory of paulaforever group". interesting..her name..Paulaforever..i don't think she had that meaning in mind when she created her name..that her name...Paulaforever... would be placed as a memorial..

How terribly sad and tragic. Those last two sentences should be the mantra for every Ep member. Abuse happens online too.

Omg thats so sad

That is so sad. How did you find out?

The EX of Paula, posted the notice on his whiteboard, and posted a story about it , and i saw it. He has few friends here.. He too is new..He too is a victim of this. Paula is the mother of his children.

I think I see. Very sad.

Prayers. Awful situation. I wish there was a way for all these people to get away from such violence. Or it they would realize that they did not ask for this and should never stay. There is never a good reason. So sad.

I would agree. i wish that people were more aware of the understanding, that abusive behavior was never acceptable. That when we interact with others, each individual is worthy of respect, and and kindness, and fair treatment.

Absolutely they are. Sometimes people lose their way and are crying for help but they are so lost within themselves they can't see when someone is trying to help. We can keep trying.

Exactly.

Thanks for posting this sad story. It sure helps highlighting this ugly menace that is going on unabated in almost every society and place. We also need to identify the root cause for such inhuman behaviour and try to find solutions. May Paula's soul rest in peace.

thats a terribly sad story

I second Your thoughts. Broken Heart section & many other Groups do have such minds.
Peace Prayers for paulaforever & many such Souls.
__/|__

true, This is true for anyone feeling isolated, and trapped, and that no one seems to be there for them. They seem to be without choices. Yes, please say a prayer for Paula, and for anyone else put there, with this dark threat in their heart, to just end it all.

Hope each family'd find one soul alike You to save several feeble minds.
__/|\__

May The Universe have more of such thoughtful Souls alike You.
__/|__

i have decided to send all of my 300 friends a gift. A gift, concerning the death of paulaforever.i did this, because Paula was a new member here, and had perhaps 10 friends here, and so no one really knew her..And I did not want her passing to go un-noticed..To me, her being here mattered..it did. Her story here mattered. Her being here, was for a reason, and so i will do my part, to get that message out..the lady did not endure what she did, for no reason. I want there to be some value associated with this event. Perhaps some person somewhere, will realize what happened to Paula, and make different decisions. Maybe they will be more willing to accept the help offered to them, or at least be the one offering to help.and so..at least i did what I could to get people to reflect on the fact that, the people at EP, are real, and they suffer real consequences..they are not just words on a page..it is not just about sex, and lewd behavior..there are real tears that get expressed here at EP. There are serious situations that happen here at EP. There are individuals hanging by a thread here at EP

This is - unfortunately - a very dark part of life and society, one I have difficulty in understanding. Perhaps because the home I came from was always peaceful and loving, the concept of violence to another person close to you is simply something I cannot comprehend. It happens, I know people who have been a part of such, but the vast majority of my friends and acquaintances and even extended family are simply not the type to do things like this.

While your friend was new in your life, it's still sad to lose such a person, especially so early in what could have been a long, satisfying friendship for both. I'm sorry to hear of this.

I have had a friend in the past that was in a very violent situation. but that time, I was able to convince her to leave, and come and live with us, until she was on her feet. But sometimes, to assist someone, that is what you do have to do. You have to step in, and intervene. But that requires cooperation from the battered victim. And sometimes, they are too scared to leave. They are too scared to do anything. In this case, Paula was too sacred to accept the help that was there. Her former spouse offered her sanctuary, but she said no..She wanted to do this on her own, but then apparently realized, she was way over her head. She had no money, no where to go...and was scared of the consequences.

I am a survivor of Domestic violence. My ex this pos scumbag beat the **** out of me daily it got to the point where me n him would fight like to niggas on the street !!! He threatened my life many times told me if u leave me ill kill u !! In march 2012 he was arrested n sentenced to 5 yrs in jail since then he's got 2 warrants served for violation of nocontact order he doesnt get it and prouble never will. I still fear he'll keep his promise he made to me he's a gang banger n I kno he's homies would takr care of it for him. It's a constent fear a women has when she leaves a abusive relationship and if it wasn't for my fiance I proudly would of jumped off a bridge !!!! He's promised me that nobody will ever hurt me ever again n for the first time in a long time I actually feel save !!!!

be strong..be safe..Always watch your back, because these people, don't forget, and do follow through with threats.
Find a way to live your life, where you have as little contact with your ex and his friends as possible. Stay off face book, live as anonymously as you can.

Oh my gosh, this is horrible. Such a loss and so sad that she felt this was her only option. I'm sure your support meant so much to her, but when someone is in that dark of a place, it is hard to see a positive future. Take care.

Yes, and I can only imagine the heartbreak and doom that filled her heart and soul, to make her resort to ...death as her only way out....
be safe.