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So Good to Be Free of a Violent Relationship.

Hey, Im 17 years old and Iv been out of a violent relationship now for 2 weeks, and these 2 weeks have been the best 2 weeks iv had for a long time. We was together for 15 months and the violence started about 2 months into the relationship. It was my 1st seriouse relationship so i didnt know what to expect. Anyways, The violence didnt start off strong, It was timid such as digging his nails into me, nipping, pulling hair..(wich still isnt right at all) but i accepted his appology and the speach off "I'll never do it again, I'll change i promise". He never did change and things got worse. He stopped me from seeing my friends and didnt like me texting them. I soon realized that anything triggerd his violence off, Such as me saying i cant wait to learn driving, he would dig his nails in me for saying that. He had total controll over me at this stage, He chose what i would wear, no make-up, no hair straightend. Even if i brushed my hair or shaved my legs hed go mad because hed think i was making an effort. He was totally obsessed with sex and demanded it all the time, If i said no he would hit the roof and go on about my past with other men. so i submitted and allowed this awfull thing to happen. One time i was sticking to my boundries and kept saying no, He knocked me to fall on the bed, And then layed into me..punching and being soo agressive until i was screaming that i would do it. I was so brain washed that i thought this behaviour was normal. It was my friends birthday and she was having a party, I really wanted to go but he got too mad and stabbed me in my leg with a pair of tweezers. i was always thinking what his next move would be, weather he would actually go to extincts to put me in a hospital bed. A family member died earlier this year, He hit the roof coz i went to the Wake aswell as the funeral and he forbidded me to drink alcahol as he thought i would try it on with men, even though he wasnt there i still didnt drink alcahol...thats how scared of him i was. We recently went to australia with my parents to see my sister who i love and missed soo much and we are soo close, he wanted me to spend all my time which i wanted to spend with my sister with him.  Whenever my sister straightend my hair he would show me a fist sign and would make sure no 1 could see it other than me, I wasnt alowd to sunbathe, Even wear my swimming costume. I tried so many times to escape but hed threaten to take his life, So i stayed with him even though i didnt want to. As soon as we got back from australia i decided i couldnt take it no moore, i told him it was over, and then went and told my mum about it so that i knew there would deffo be no going back to the monster. My parents was so shocked, i kept it such a secret bcoz i was scared of the reactions, if they would think im a fool, But they didnt they have helped me so much...cut all contact from him off..blocking phone numbers, We got the police involved and i made a statement, but decided not to go through with the video interview. Im now having weekly counceling and its helping so much. Im so glad i dont ever have to go through hell again.

My message to people in violent relationships would be that he will never change. never!. Help is out there, even if you have no 1 to turn to, There is always councolling and they help you so much.

If any 1 wants a chat please dont hessitate to do so.

Thanks xx

SouthFlower SouthFlower 16-18, F 3 Responses Nov 24, 2007

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Nice writing. You are a strong person.

Thank goodness you got out of there. I went through the same thing but spent 10 years of my life going back and then leaving. The violence never stopped. He controlled me exactly the same as you were. It took 20 years to heal and find a good man. What a waste, uh? Set the bar high and keep it there. I'm so glad you woke up and got out now. Good for you. Hang in there and if you want to talk about it, just message me, K? Hugs

yeah..its like a breath of fresh air. I feel like im my own person now..i dont have a shadow lurking behind me. xx