I Broke "The Rules"

I started seeing someone very recently.  It didn't start off as a romance but only as a sexual thrist. 

That was my mistake.  I broke "The Rules" 

I got attached way to soon.  Spent way too much time with him, too fast and now I'm facing the consequences of my actions. 

The only good thing about all of this is that the bad side of him came out very early on.  The bad thing is I don't know if I can let him go.  I feel sick to my stomach. 

We have spent the last 2 weekends at his place.  Yesterday he had a temper tantrum.  It was not good.  We had too many drinks - well at least I did - the night before.  I was hung over and wanted to sleep.  He wanted to go out riding.  I was too tired.  I asked him to let me sleep and he said he wouldn't let me.  So I told him maybe he should drive me home then.  So he got mad and told me to pack up.  I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't talk to me and started throwing things around.  I was freaked out. 

He basically was so mad that he drove me home in a real big huff.  When were almost to my place (maybe half an hour later) he started feeling remorseful and told me he was sorry.  I didn't respond to him because I was in such shock and disbelief at his sudden outburst. 

I have been feeling sick to my stomach ever since.  I guess it's the not being able to stomach his behavior!

Oh Dear God, please give me strength!

I have been involved with the wrong man too many times to head straight into it again.  I fear that my feelings will override my common sense once again.

 

 

PiscesDream PiscesDream
51-55, F
Apr 30, 2007