Constant Fear

i am always afraid of expressing my emotions and desires for the guy i am with even though i know i know my feelings for him are very strong. I know that if i dont change, my relationship will just end because he does not feel anything from me.  I hate the way i act towards him and am trying so hard to change my attitude.  My fear of giving too much away has always been what has ruined my relationships.  And i know i am in the wrong but this feeling of fear will never go away unless i let them see the real me with no hidden emotions and secrets.  I know that if i dont let them know my true feelings, then i would feel better if they were to break up with me because i could blame it on that and for no other reason. i just put up too many barriers that shield me from findingg out anything i dont want to know or feel.  but love can never happen if i dont let myself love them back. i know that getting over someone is going to be hard for me to do and i guess i would just rather avoid too much pain.  i always too worried to ever let myself feel and this is something i've learned but is still difficult for me to change. i wish i could be more laidback with my feelings but i always feel if i let them know how i feel, they would not return the love becuase they like when theres some difficulties.
littlekitty84 littlekitty84
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 27, 2006

The ex<x>pression of love is an easy thing to perform unless you are embarrassed by it or you are afraid of a nasty worthless comment. Go out on a limb and see what happens. maybe he doesn't love you and is using you or maybe he's incapable of expressing himself until you show it as the proper thing to do.

Please tell him how you feel, even if you can only write it down. Give him a card or a letter and tell him what he means to you. Everyone wants to know they're valued, appreciated, and loved.

When you meet the right person, the person that you are supposed to be with for the rest of your life. None of these things will stop you. Yall will click, yall will be able to feel the honest, and true love between you. Maybe you need to let go of some of your fears. That would help you alot because you will only live once. The pain of loosing someone gets better, but the pain of wanting to go back and do something you wish you would have, will not.

I agree with this whole heartedly. It shouldn't be so difficult. When you meet the right one you can be yourself. I don't know this from experience, because i am in a 23 year marriage where I feel like I can't be myself, but I know if shouldn't be this way. If you can get out then do it and find someone who will let you be you. Don't spend your life being scared of losing him. It's no way to live.