Controlling Mum

Im afraid my boyfriend is under his mother's total control

He is in his 40's and is not allowed to stay overnight at my house.   His mother phones him to make him go home.   She phones relentlessly until he answers.   If he doesn't answer his mobile she rings my number.   I've learnt that now and turn my phone off!

He always does as he's told.

His mother appears at first to be a really nice old lady but then you get to hear about all the backstabbing she's been doing.    I can see this because she used to really slag off my boyfriends sister in law to me and to my boyfriend and other people, but now I guess its my turn.    I am the one being totally 'cut out' - I have, despite knowing just what she says about me, carried on regardless, and always offer help.   My help is rejected and she's been getting the sister in law to do the things I offered to help her with.

In fact her actions are quite spiteful.    She is also in touch with my boyfriends ex and even had her around over Christmas - I never got an invite to go there on any occasion.

I think she is trying to split us up.   I will as I say, ignor her and remain magnanamous.    Just put it down to her being a bitter and twisted old lady.

Trouble is of course, that she is my boyfriends mother after all so Im also wondering whether or not to throw our 4 year relationship down the pan.   I can't see this getting any better - certainly all the while she's alive.

Thoughts anyone?

luckyblackcat luckyblackcat
46-50, F
1 Response Feb 24, 2010

yeah - I know what you're saying. Probably what Im thinking I guess!! There is something tho that is endearing about my bf and I feel sorry for him.<br />
Its just SO obvious what she's up to..... when she phones him (like this is if he is still here at 1am) his phone will ring and ring. The last time she must have rung 10 times every few minutes. It was half past one when he answered. I could hear her shouting "Get back here and take that dog out"<br />
<br />
A bit of a complicated story - but I used to have that dog here (it was HIS dog) but it was SO aggressive at times and bit all my kids. I got reported to the social services the last time when my smallest son went to school with bite wounds on his hands. So, I made him take the dog away. His mother phoned me up and told me that I was cruel to the dog - abandoning it like that???????<br />
BUT when he doesn't come here, and stays at home, he does not have to get up in the middle of the night/morning to take the dog out. I have asked him!<br />
I feel his Mum is just purely making a pedandic point and being spiteful in all honesty. I mean WHAT dogs get taken out at 2am for a walk? <br />
Oh - and the dog is not allowed in their house because of its aggression.<br />
<br />
Thanks for your comment though. Your second one made me laugh about losing my mind!!! Bejaysus - I sure should have done by now. But I don't want to be beaten by her. If its a case of who has the strongest will I won't let her win. It shows though that bf has no backbone of his own really. Ideally he would have been totally on my side with the initial dog issue and now would tell his mum to stop pestering him. <br />
Thank you :-)