Being Used???!

I am not a writer, just a person who has lived and seen much.
Have come a long way and thought I was doing o.k. With much help from past therapy and family .....
Now coming to the conclusion of knowing, or feeling, being used~! It just seems that when people know you will go all out they take advantage. You do some and they want more. Yet they are not able to see you for you or feel or even ask what you would like, in the way of life and dreams.
It is always them and their dreams.
When do I say NO and learn that my desires and dreams are important too?
When can I say, I feel you are using me for my car or whatever reason?
I met a person who I felt was strong, silent, caring and all that wonderfulness, if that can be such a word. Then I am being sucked into going here and there with my car. His is old and broken down.
Thinking I was someone special in his life, I finally asked what his intentions were. Seeing as we date and once in a while a 'good' kiss.
Hold hands a bit, hug a fair amount. Nothing any more physical. I have known him 4 years.
He said, what ever guy says when they do not want to commit, "I don't know what I want. When I become unconfused, I will let you know"
Well having cried all the next day and feeling it was now over....he calls like nothing was different. I acted like nothing was different so am not helping myself. He even told some people I was his girlfriend?! I dont feel like one...
I clean his house and cook....now have kind of stoped....drive him all over....he does buy dinner ....I have grown very found of him and yet will not go out of my way now to hold or do what I would love to do. Hold him touch him and all that romantic stuff.
As I have been used very much in the past...including a con man that married me and the bounty hunters came and took him away. He was armed and dangerous and wanted for a long time. Also married to a few other women.
So many other stories but for now this is enough.
My daughter says she gets the same way, maybe it is just me passing it along?
shebaa963 shebaa963
56-60
Sep 2, 2010