How To Stop?

i fear rejection so much that i sometimes reject myself before the other person can do it themselves. if a friend seems distant i just make up reasons in my head that they don't want to chat or hang out.even if they may really have judt forgotten we were supposed to chat.  i can put myself down better than anyone! if i do it then they can't and they can't hurt me that way. any suggestions realistically on how to change this behavior?
darlinsam darlinsam
36-40, F
3 Responses Jul 24, 2010

To not fear rejection you have to learn how to let go and walk away as if it never really mattered even if it breaks your heart later. You have to say to yourself well it would have been nice BUT the other person didn't think so.<br />
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Samantha/ Dave

sounds scary but i will give it a try. actually when i think about it i may have already. but he ended up being a real wack job anyway so maybe we wont count that one! lol thanks for understanding tho it really does make me feel better!

Well I'm right there with you. I reject myself before others can, because I have such an intense fear of not being good enough. I do the same things with relationships too... I'll be afraid that my boyfriend is about to break up with me, so I'll break up with him first even if I don't want the relationship to end.<br />
The only thing I can suggest is to face your fear. When you feel like someone might reject you, go ahead and be friendly and nice to them anyway. I think it's called exposure therapy.