Frustration Sets In..

I thought that I would be able to shake this...but this feeling of loneliness and alienation is not going away.

I am guilty sometimes  because I feel that since I have a great family I should be grateful for that gift and quit complaining about the things that I don't have in my life.

I don't know how I allowed myself to become this alone. I've never in my life had a close- even a good friend; acquaintances,sure, but never anyone that I could hang out with on a Friday or Saturday night.

Despite this, I've felt fairly comfortable with myself. However, recently, with every passing day I ask myself, 'why the hell is it so difficult for me to develop a relationship with even one individual that I would enjoy hanging out with? Is it my personality? am I likable? I mean, I see individuals with half of the wit that I have surrounded by friends!(bitterness talking)

I don't know. I'm 20 years old and I feel like I ought to be seizing the day with friends, just learning, loving, and living life.

Sorry, I had to let that out.

 

lafemmebette lafemmebette
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 9, 2007

Thanks, jessabellcool and nalamichelle for your support. Just letting everything out's made me feel a bit better, But your words of encouragment are just as helpful, if not more.I'm really sorry for not replying sooner!

Hey There! How are you doing? You are not alone...many of us feel like that, including myself. I am 29 and here if you need a friend.

I feel the same way ....I'm a little older than you but I feel the same guilt ..I have an amazing son ..and I feel guilty for feeling so alone .....it is also hard for me to fit in...I feel as if I have no place I belong..I am here if you ever need to talk...