The Silence Is Deafening!

First off I'm a very independant person! I gotta have my space. But on the other hand I love to be with somebody. I had the perfect scenario once and let it get away! My bad! Wasnt all my idea but whatever. I just recently broke it off with a gal I was living with for 8 years(not the previously mentioned gal.). Sad thing is we never really clicked as a couple. Due to circumstances she was in (lived with a beater) we decided to have her move from jersey to Iowa and get a new start and see if we were compatible. Now comes the funny part. We were like oil and water but lived together for 8 years before I said enough! Well anyway 2 weeks ago she left to go scout out a new place to live in another state. During that two weeks I have been alone and enjoying every minute of it. Except! There has been a couple times I just sat on the edge of the bed and went now what? I gotta say at this point I was very lonley all the while she lived with me because it just never went very far from platonic. She wanted more but the attraction just wasnt there. Only reason we stayed together as long as we did was convienence. We shared bills we both were getting older and worn out on the dating scene etc. etc. etc. Well now we are slpit and I'm glad and ready to move on. needless to say I'm ready for some companionship, but ya know what? I just really relized I'm not 20 anymore or not even 30! or even 40! **** I'm 53 years young and alone! Got my share of health issues going on! Now what! How do I go about finding a good woman who wants an old broke down warhorse like me? I'm thinking this is a real dilema! I've never had a confidence problem and never been alone unless I wanted to be but this is different. I got a lot less goin for me now than I did back then. Did I mention I'm a disabled vet? Yes I have all my limbs and all there mind and soul! I was already a big boy (250lbs 6'3")but my thyroid decided to take a **** on me and I put on 170lbs. Now you talk about a confidence killer! Try hauling that kinda extra weight around all day! Also that kind of additional weight kinda makes those other major organs really stupid and they quit working right too. So I have all that going for me! Needless to say at those moments I have never felt more alone! All in all I'm doin ok but not real sure what the future is going to bring. I guess all I can do is work on my health and hope for the best. Comments welcome!

magicwolf magicwolf
51-55, M
1 Response Mar 18, 2009

I read you story and was curious because I was involved not long ago with a man of mature years (he is late 50 moving into 60 yrs old). We were together for 5 yrs but during that time there were problems because he was always chasing an ex or some very young girl or girls he hooks up on Myspace. Yet through all this nonsense he looks for me when the relationships fail like I am a security blanket. I am not with this program and I made that clear to him many times. Mid-Life Crisis or something. Overall I just will not accept this nonsense but he just can't let go of this chasing ways.<br />
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What is it that when you men have a good woman you always feel there is something else out there that you are missing to throw away a good woman. <br />
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As I told him he too is old (not 19 or 20 like the little girls he chases) and that is the reality. <br />
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Why is it that you older men don't appreciate what you have in front of you.<br />
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So looking forward to your reply on this issues.