It's A Constant Feeling.....

I'm realizing that... actions by others may trigger me to cry or feel hurt or betrayed or whatever. But fact is..... What hurts the most is that..... no matter who I'm around, who I talk to here....I'm alone.
When I log off here I'm alone. They aren't. Most here have a significant other they live with. and if they are miserable with that person, they have others to keep them preoccupied on here. and Clearly.... I'm not that person.
Before someone leaves they may drop a quick hello in. and a how are you. But then they are gone. They have a life.
A life I'll never have a chance in hell of being a part of. It hurts.
Knowing I'm alone.
Knowing I will be alone for awhile.
They go home and lay in bed with the person they love. I go to bed by myself.
Plain and simple my heart hurts.
All the time.
I always feel alone.
But it is strangely better when I actual am alone. But when I sit here or sit at dinner, and the feelings come about, i have to make myself not cry .
Not sure if anyone will say anything nice or mean, if anything to this post.
I just feel drained. don't think that helps with feeling alone
Doesn't help matters either that I want to be 100 percent okay with being alone not 75 percent like it is now.
I'm just sad.
Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 3, 2012

i have no life.... I feel like I only exist on the internet................ I understand.

Hate that you understand :( Not a good feeling, and I was beginning to think I was alone in this feeling, almost wish I was, wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Hoping the desires of your heart come true...