It Doesn't Matter

I guess I never really was socially alone.. I had friends, lots of them .. but it doesn't mean anything to me. My father sexually abused us, my mother suffers from mental illnesses and neglects me. My other sister has tried killing herself many times. And here I am, I see a shrink every week but it isn't helping. I'm on heavy medications to help with my severe insomnia and depression but I can't keep relying on them forever

I see my friends being happy and I need to be strong for them - to protect them. But I can't even help myself. I don't have self esteem issues more like a superiority complex but it doesn't mean anything when you're alone. My friends are so innocent, I want to protect them from the world but How do I even do that when I can't fix myself. I've had depression for a year and a half now... I take care of my family, I'm their hope. Guys chase me but it's never anything serious. I can't relate to my friends anymore and find them annoying at times. I tried ending my life a few times but it never goes anywhere.. I Just end up in some hospital. I don't know How much more I can take. I need to break free
SparePartsForSale SparePartsForSale
18-21, F
Dec 16, 2012