I Feel Alone
It is strange that one can feel so lonely in a world of billions... it is strange that one can feel so alone in a room filled with people... it is strange for one to feel such emptiness while surrounded by friends and family.
It is through adversity that one discovers the true importance of love, the true significance of companionship, the true meaning of "forever".
For 18 years I was with the same woman... for 13 years we were married and together through countless adversities and challenges, yet I failed to see what I had within my grasp, what love I had been blessed with, what emptiness had always been filled by her words, her touch and even her simple presence.
Now I feel the absence of what I had, and only now can I see just how much there was, how much I had and I am left to wonder if anyone could ever fill this void or even if anyone would even desire to. As I look back to those many years I see so many mistakes, so many opportunities for happiness wasted, so many wonderful moments that never came to pass. I force my gaze back to the present and tell myself that I must learn from my mistakes, but still I wonder if these lessons learned through immeasurable hardship will ever be put to use.
I know that I have a great deal to offer to a soul willing to stand by my side. I know that I have more to give now than i ever thought possible before because I know now just how precious the slightest act, the simplest word, the most gentle of smiles can be. Still I find myself alone on this night, wondering if this emptiness can and will ever be filled.
To find yourself alone after 18 years is a nightmare from which you are left unable to wake from. To find yourself alone within the walls that only months ago held the love and presence of not only a wife but of two little angels is a agony that cannot be described by mere words. To know that the woman that you once called wife now is with another man who is treating her the way she deserved because I failed to for all those years is a reality that rips at one's soul like nothing else could.
I am surrounded by friends who are there for me with helpding hands and kind words.
I am surrounded by family members who have held me through my tears and brought a smile back to my lips.
I am surrounded by the love of my girls whom I see far too little, and yet am grateful for each second that they are with me.
I have more than what many can claim. I have more than many could even dream of. So why is it that I still... feel... alone?
It is through adversity that one discovers the true importance of love, the true significance of companionship, the true meaning of "forever".
For 18 years I was with the same woman... for 13 years we were married and together through countless adversities and challenges, yet I failed to see what I had within my grasp, what love I had been blessed with, what emptiness had always been filled by her words, her touch and even her simple presence.
Now I feel the absence of what I had, and only now can I see just how much there was, how much I had and I am left to wonder if anyone could ever fill this void or even if anyone would even desire to. As I look back to those many years I see so many mistakes, so many opportunities for happiness wasted, so many wonderful moments that never came to pass. I force my gaze back to the present and tell myself that I must learn from my mistakes, but still I wonder if these lessons learned through immeasurable hardship will ever be put to use.
I know that I have a great deal to offer to a soul willing to stand by my side. I know that I have more to give now than i ever thought possible before because I know now just how precious the slightest act, the simplest word, the most gentle of smiles can be. Still I find myself alone on this night, wondering if this emptiness can and will ever be filled.
To find yourself alone after 18 years is a nightmare from which you are left unable to wake from. To find yourself alone within the walls that only months ago held the love and presence of not only a wife but of two little angels is a agony that cannot be described by mere words. To know that the woman that you once called wife now is with another man who is treating her the way she deserved because I failed to for all those years is a reality that rips at one's soul like nothing else could.
I am surrounded by friends who are there for me with helpding hands and kind words.
I am surrounded by family members who have held me through my tears and brought a smile back to my lips.
I am surrounded by the love of my girls whom I see far too little, and yet am grateful for each second that they are with me.
I have more than what many can claim. I have more than many could even dream of. So why is it that I still... feel... alone?
By:
Falcran
Age:
41-45
,
Male
