Alone & Overwhelmed

My husband works nights.  After I get home from work, I have to make sure the kids do their homework, get dinner (which my kids never want what I make - even when its something they like), get them to sports, and keep up with housework.  (My husband does housework during the day but the kids mess it up by the time they go to bed.)

I feel like I am a single mom, we recently moved...no new friends yet...no one to talk to.  I feel overwhelmed and alone...

I try talking to my sister, but somehow I seem to get cut off when talking about my problems, but there doesn't seem to be any problem when its about her issues.  I help her, but feel like I don't get any help from her.  Not emotionally.  Again, alone and overwhelmed.  I need to lose weight....its tough.  No matter how much you need to lose (me only 25...I only say only because I know there are people out there that need to lose more and would probably not mind being my size, but I am short too.  No boobs to balance my figure (or assume some of the weight).  Anyway, 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 60 pounds whatever, its tough.  My husband laughs cuz he took off some weight and has kept it off and thinks I just don't try hard enough.  When I get upset or overwhelmed, I want to eat and drink soda. (Soda is my vice.)  I've psycho analyzed myself over and over.  I won't be able to lose the weight (and keep it off) until I am happy with myself (or at least happy.)  What would make me happy?   Friends to talk to...hang out with....less crap from the kids when told to clean rooms, do homework, go outside to play.  That is the other thing.  We had lots of kids in our old neighborhood. Now, only a few...they don't go out and play.  Now my kids stay in.  Makes me sad.  I had to move, though.  The neighborhood was going downhill. In fact on one of the days we were showing the house, the cops came to the house across the street. 

That just touches on my story.  So much more to tell.  I just cry.  No one to talk to.  I dont' think my husband would understand.  He is perfect.  Or at least that is what it seems like.  He sticks to his diet (at least enough to keep the weight off.  He may go off it, but then goes back on.  Doesn't gain it back) he doesn't spend money, he cooks and cleans.  PERFECT.  Maybe that is part of my problem (here I go psyho analyzing again) I can't measure up to him, so why try?  Ugh!  I need a soda and...hmmmm pepperoni and crackers?  Chips?  chicken fried rice? Hmmm..

okay.  time to go.  I feel depressed now.  And FAT!

Julia Julia
36-40, F
11 Responses Mar 14, 2007

I don't think anything I say will make a difference but I bet soon you will be able to have someone to talk to. You might feel better if you took your kids to the park zoo etc.

You are in a very *busy* phase of your life right now, and possibly craving energy. ( hence the soda) In another 10 years the children will have changed their *demands* and menopause will slow your metabolism. Perhaps consider a multivitamin each day instead of the soda, and if you enjoy a *bubbly* drink, maybe substitute mineral sparkling water. It may help with the weight. Oh, and btw, make a list of things your husband cant do and present it to him. Menstration, Childbirth,Breastfeeding, Multitasking....you get the idea

I'm new to posting, but my heart goes out to you. I have become a recluse because of my disability. My friends have deserted me, so I am very alone too. If you ever need someone to talk to, drop me a line. I cannot exercise much because of health problems. I need to lose about 100 lbs. still. I have lost 35 lbs. so far since 8/1/11. I'm doing Dr. Atkins low carb diet. You can learn about it more at www.atkins.com. Two other good sites are www.lowcarbluxury.com, and carbsmart.com. It can be hard without sugar, flour, and starch, (they put sugar in almost everything) but you can have non-starchy veggies, eggs, meat, and cheese. The last two websites I listed even have low-carb goodies like low-carb pasta. I've lost my 35 lbs. without much exercise at all. Don't feel bad about your hubby's loss. It is a proven fact that men lose weight faster and easier than women. Not at all fair, but what can you do. I'm not a mother, and I don't know how old your children are, but they need to learn to pick up after themselves and help mom out with some things. Chores never killed any kid that I know of. You take care, and warm hugs to you.

I feel better knowing that as alone as I feel that there are others in similar situations. My husband doesn't work nights right now but he is gone all day, leaves me with a young child during the day while the other one is in school. I cook, clean and care for the kids. By the time he gets home and I am able to get a break I am too exhausted to do anything! I have low self esteem and have gained more weight now after the birth of my second child than I gained when I was pregnant! We recently moved and so I don't know anyone other than my husband and children. I am having a tough time getting out and meeting people.

I am right there with you!!! My husband works nights, I have 5 kids and have no one to talk to other than here. I feel alone, unloved and unappreciated. It is hard to live life without that love. message me anytime you want to talk. :)

Thanks for sharing this interesting story, I am glad I dropped by.

Have you tried writing a list of things you like about yourself and things you are good at? Then re-read this list everyday. It should increase your self-esteem. It works for me.

sounds like you & your kids are looking for heart connection. try finding it by taking a walk w/your kids in nature...exercise, talking, connecting w/your kids...feel good recipe, try it you may like it! I can also offer up some foody advice...but one has to be open.

you keep talking we will listen its good to share and ease the burden . don't give up make sure hubby is understanding and the kids can help to. make a mess clear it up you are only human

Hi,<br />
I no how you feel.<br />
I feel the same way. <br />
I don't have husband and kids.<br />
But I did a dum thing and locked my self in a apartment coplex and I can see people and walk across the street to the store. <br />
But never got out and walked.<br />
I locked my self i n the apartment and crawled in bed from all my promblems.<br />
<br />
Now i am going to join a swimming club and exiceident with people and they say it works you lose weight and there is people like yoiu .<br />
And my freinds say they are loseing weight.<br />
And walk and I am going to try.<br />
I have nothing to lose.<br />
<br />
But good lucky to you.<br />
If you need to talk come to me and talk.<br />
<br />
Lashanda

Well having kids could have thrown off your chemical balance. And don't worry, men lose weight faster than women do. Your body is taking in too much sugar. (ex, soda, white bread, etc...) lean meat is good. <br />
<br />
Here is a site on healthy foods:<br />
http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php<br />
<br />
And one for daily recipes:<br />
http://www.whfoods.com/index.html<br />
<br />
Or you can also try breaking down your meals. Breaking down your meals into 6-12 small meals will keep your digestive system working and that should raise your metabolism. Same with exercising. Making you body use up calories will make it want to use the ones you just ate. By the way, to much stress will slow down the effects of weight loss. Try yoga to calm down and relax. If you need any help you can talk to me. But I am not a pro.