All by myself

It’s been about two years since I posted my first story here but it seems nothing has changed because I'm still wondering...Why is so difficult to find a real friend? Someone who really cares about you, someone who is always there....or like a famous quote says: someone who knows wverything about you and loves you anyway..... that’s the point... I feel that I can not open to people fully because they are going to judge me and I hate being dishonest or faking a smile or whatever because that’s not me. I feel that I can't trust people (includying my family) Im starting to think that doesn’t exist or at least there is nobody there for me....and I'm not the kind of person who complains without trying because I did try it several times but it didnt work. What am I supposed to do? Keep trying without success or give it up......it is said that if you stop looking for something you will find it.....maybe that’s what I have to do....but I'm not sure....now I'm feeling like my whole world is falling apart....

I think life is pretty hard to live it on your own....Im not saying that loneliness is a bad thing because Im sure it isnt’.....everybody needs to be alone sometimes but what is really bad is to be alone by force not choice.....

I know that many people dont need that kind of friendship....they are content with having “friends” to parties or just to have fun...but that isnt enough for me....that can make me feel good at the moment but then when I have a problem or I just need to talk to someone....nobody is there...

From my experience...Why dont I have friends? The answer is simple. It’s really difficult for me to find someone who I connect with....and when I finally feel that conexion....it seems like it’s not mutual.....On the other hand, I know that there are people (not too many) who would like to be my friend....but unfortunately I dont find them interesting...I don't share anything with them...
so it seems the universe is not on my side....

I’ve always tried to be optimistic about that....but now I'm starting to lose hope....anybody who feels the same??
freesoul87 freesoul87
22-25, F
1 Response May 7, 2012

I understand you fully , i feel completely alone and isolated , i have a couple of friends but there always busy doing there own thing and worst of all my true love left me heartbroken and dosent want to speak to me at all, i know its hard i feel like giving up all the time , when ever i feel i get close to people i fear htere gonna disapear because thats what im used to now and im always on my own, if ever you wanna talk dont be afraid to talk to me , i do understand how you feel ...