Metaphysics Gone Amonk

I have a cousin who is extremely metaphysically minded. She is of the opinion based on these teaching that we create our realitiy. I believe this to an extent only. She believes it whole haartedly to the poin that if several things go wrong in my life, it's my fault since I created it.

Every so often she and I clash. I'm always surprised when this happens. I never expected to be bombarded with criticism from her when things go wrong in my life. It's difficult enough to deal with mis haps but then to be blamed for causing it when it's hard enough to cope with all that goes on around me and to correct these issues and have things go even again. I don't need to be blamed for this.

I get to the point where I don't feel like ever relating to her again. she's a physics major and works at it at NASA Shee firmlyy believes all this. And yes, I've read and studied these philosphies and also some have been proven scientifically.

Even with physics there are called random particles. Although, I'm not schooled in this area I know that we don't control every little thing that happens around us. We may have some part in events but I don't take resonsibility for other peple's stuff. I grew up with a mother who blamed everything that went wrong in her life on me. And I don't need it now as an adult.

My cousin is in her 40's. She's healthy, working for NASA, has a good income, owns a house and recently got engatged. I realize I ccan't even begin to compare my life with hers. She's impossible to ever understand me and and what goes on in my life. she's not disabled and she doesn't need to depend on social sevice agencies like I do, or look to social security and all their lack of services and gettng worse by the way. She's healthy and she's got good insurance and money..

When i had money from student loans I was content and could get my needs met and my entire world was different. Now I don't and I still have an income which means I'm in a better way that was, yet it's not enough to make it.

Now, when my computer goes and I can't get my comuter to get the internet, I get frustrated, until i thought to call my provider. they gave it a charge long distance , told me to unplug the router box fo 16 seconds and then re plug it. When I did this it has worked and I have my happiness.back.. This happens. suff happens, but to blame me for the fact that something does't work is nuts in my opinio.

If several things happen in a row i.e. technology items break, a pperson who is erratic continues to be erratic who is in my life ,my cousn blames me and she can't seem to handle it. What bothers me is that it bothers me. since she's imporant to me and has helped me a lo in my life financially and emoitonally, but now she suddently at any point will erupt and get angry wiht me regrding these issuesl. She says when she has a migrane she gets grateful that she has a bed to lie in and she cries from the pain. In all my time of knowing her, all my life, I never knew she creis from the ain from migaines. Okay, this is healthy to focus on a positive, yet when a number of things go wrong at a time, I get oerwhelmded since it stops me from doing things i very much need to get done. yet, I work on the problem and get it resolved one way or another. i don't just do nothing. her guilt trips on me don't do one helpful thing for me. She tells me I have to have a better atitutde towards my life event, yet, when I initially get overwhelmed and don't know now what I can do to resolve the problem.

I never heard of a person having such an idealic life that nothing ever goes wrong n their life. Yet, she says nothing bad ever happens to her. the only time I remember anything happens is when she had a lot of home repairs at the same time. btu, she has the money to fix her house. I find her to be very skin thinned to make such a big deal about simpe things that break. They have people trained to fix appliances and technology items. ,

I think I take is so personally since my mom criticized the hell out of me and this cousin has been important to me and I'm unablde to change who I am and this will ruin our relationship;she's been a bit support person in my llie, but with such an attitude there's no way I can relate to her witthout mentioning the things that concern me. So, she'lll alwyas be into her blame game.
velvetflow velvetflow
66-70, F
Sep 19, 2012