Sometimes I Can Feel Myself Slip Away From Existence

sometimes i just feel so far away from the world, i even feel my friends could get carried away without me and i'll end up lost

sometimes i run so many thoughts in my head that they collide and i don't know what i'm thinking and i start thing about all they possibilities of everything i've ever known to be fake...that i'm not apart of anything anymore that i could be forgotten at any given moment and that every moment someone is forgetting me

and because of the fact  i feel alone i somehow manage to also make myself feel alone inside

i don't always feel alone so strongly at times the alone feeling is at the very back of my mind but it rises to the surface sometimes getting closer and closer 'til it's all i feel and it surrounds me...and then i start to feel i need to get away and really be alone so that i don't make my friends think i'm trying to ignore them

the feeling comes and goes for the moment i am not feeling so alone but i know it comes when i think i'm going to screw something up and when i don't screw something up and think i have i feel so many things are my fault like i've mest up and then comes the silent feeling of just being but not being apart of life--and it makes me feel so distant and i end up almost distancing myself from everything i know...sometimes though i can reach out and feel the rope that yet agian pulls me back to existence

Loganberry Loganberry
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 10, 2007

Oo la la sounds like dissociation. look it up, also depersonalisation.<br />
If it seems to fit, take heart, this is one problem that does have a solution.<br />
I wonder if as a kid you hid away in books or something similar?<br />
I know I go right away inside myself, sometimes a day or a week or a month depends on the trigger.<br />
you tube is a good source of info on all the above, beleive me what u are feeling happens to more people than u think. I am beginning to wonder if abnormal is the new normal lol. <br />
Its a condition that makes us feel isolated, yet we are not. I often wonder what would happen if there was a party just for all of us who feel that way. I imagine seeing a room full of people who all look smarter more confident and at ease than me, while knowing inside they are just like me and i am just like them.

This expressed so clearly what I can't properly verbalise. Thank you. For me, the feeling comes suddenly at little moments during the day, and can last from a minute to the rest of the week. That feeling of being left behind by friends is definitely one I can relate to easily. It *is* an effort to haul myself "back to existence" sometimes. But, I guess it just has to be done. =>