Please It Hurts

I feel like no one wants to see the real me, if i try to be social and try to makes friends that aren't on the net, it just comes back in my hurts and i want it to go away, i must sound like a crying twit. I hate sharing what i think or how i feel mostly cus no one ever asks, I don't say anything why i don't know, i can't see my keys while type i'mm crying so bad, this has been going on for more then half a year, i want it to stop hurting, but aparently I have no luck cus everything just gets thrown back at me, i'm tired and it seems when i get my hopes up it just comes crashing down......all i want it a physical realationship of some kind....i must sound despreate.......maybe i am..i don't know what depreate is so i wouldn't know.

Paradox22 Paradox22
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 3, 2010

i wish people would think bout how we feel, my self esteem is going lower the low, i can't think anymore, i'm washing dishes and i just kept staring at the water and knifes, i didn't touch them, it just caught my eyes, is there some reason that people are not aloud to feel hopeful over something that keeps happening for over 9 months....

Please don't be sad. I understand your pain very well. It hurts me to read these stories here, but at the same time I feel connected to all of the people brave enough to express their pain so openly. I hope that you learn to see yourself as beautiful and unique and shun those who say anything different. I wish I had some words of advice to help you... I always have this never ending feeling of wanting to save and heal the entire world. I want us all to be connected and to care about each other, but sadly the world can be a cold place. At least here, in this one small corner of the internet, we are connected to each other through our stories and experiences. I hope that your life blooms beautifully and you find all of the happiness you deserve.

i think i know what you mean, i was bullied all threw school, and in high school i just got labled as something and just acted the way people thought of me as, in my family my parents never put me first, and i guess being compared to dogs or pets kinda gives one a low opinion of your self, pets first, child last, maybe thats all i see of my self as......sorry i think i'm ramble bout something completely different

I know all to well what it feels like to feel ALONE, I'm 40yrs. old and don't even know what it's like to have a RELIABLE/TRUSTWORTHY social relationship with some one. As I too have been burned many times over in my life! The Minute you trust someone with your personal affairs or feelings, (And things go south in the relationship) it all bakfires on you. So i have a tough time trusting people.<br />
I really enjoy having a social relationship, but don't really know who i can TRUST? I got bullied constantly i school, and at home I listened to my parents Fight like Ike & Tina Turner. One of the few Highlites in my life is that i got the opportunity to play hockey. (I learned how to play with Jr. High kids 11-13 year olds) Pee wee & bantam level. It made me very happy to be part of something. i know that this may sound stupid, but It made me feel (Part of something that i couldn't do as a kid) a second childhood.

I have had a bad year myself. I hope things get better for you.<br />
<br />
Never be ashamed to show who you are. And never apologize for how you feel especially here on EP since that is what its all about! <br />
<br />
We are creatures that were never meant to be alone so if you feel alone it defintily is the worse problem to have since we are dependent on someone else to help us with that situation.<br />
<br />
I hope in the future things change for you. What ever happens though never settle for someone that wont take care of your heart.