So Strange But True...

I feel a little upset by it, but lately I have been feeling very lonely despite me having a few friends both on and offline, a fiancee, and constantly surrounded by people day to day. I don't know what is wrong with me... I can't even define the concept of friend. My fiancee is my best friend... and I do have a best friend, but she's no where's near as close as my fiancee's best friend to him and I've known my best friend since I was five... I used to have many friends and a boyfriend in high school and was never alone. Now that I grew up, I noticed that I've become distant. Every time I tried to make friends, it'd always end up in drama, my ex was really neglectful (I ended up cheating on him both emotionally and physically with two men; one happened to be my friend's boyfriend), and what friends I thought I could become close to graduated a year ago and left, and no, I don't use facebook because it's crap or any other social networking tool. I've been more upset with technology, and whenever I've been hanging with my friends they are always on their facebooks or laptops... and it just feels lonely. My fiancee has been very supportive and I'm graduating in a couple months. I feel so strange, like a lone. I also feel depressed by the fact that I couldn't secure a job at my intern with my supervisor (who I really like as a friend, but she's also really busy and 20 years older). ...I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say...

Lenna2010 Lenna2010
22-25, F
4 Responses Mar 4, 2010

Aw thanks you guys. It's definitely weird. I realized I have shallow friends that hardly have any time to listen or be around me, I suppose. I screwed up with an old friend, but I realized I didn't want to be near her. I am around so many people who know me, who say hi, but...<br />
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It's not the same. I do have my fiancee though, and you guys are better able to cheer me up than what my friends COULD do! Thanks so much :)

Aw thanks you guys. It's definitely weird. I realized I have shallow friends that hardly have any time to listen or be around me, I suppose. I screwed up with an old friend, but I realized I didn't want to be near her. I am around so many people who know me, who say hi, but...<br />
<br />
It's not the same. I do have my fiancee though, and you guys are better able to cheer me up than what my friends COULD do! Thanks so much :)

hy u frndship with me !!!!

I know. I am a loner. I used to have friends. I used to have a few close friends, but they are gone. I have no friends at all. Read this, it is my blog. Maybe it will help you feel less alone. Message me anytime. I know how painful it is to feel like you are the only one in the world or unwanted. http://iamscatology.blogspot.com/2009/10/on-major-depression.html<br />
<br />
xo