Intensely Depressed

I dont know how should i start describing my life , Its a total hell.......

I made a mess of it. I would have had a good career but did'nt. At the time all youngsters study hard to make there career I wasted time in depression.

Depressed for what??? ,yeah i didnt yet figure it out myself  . I DO HAVE A VERY NEGATIVE STATE OF MIND . I CANT PUT CONSTANT EFFORTS IN ANYTHING I DO. I JUST START FEELING GLOOMY AFTER A WHILE . I START EFFORTS IMPROVING MYSELF AND SOON LOOSE INTEREST . THIS IS GOING ON FOR YEARS NOW. EVEN THE AGE TO ACHIEVE ANY THING HAS PASSED BY.

I didnt score good in my academics hampering my growth prospects while all of my friends, colleagues got for their higher education.

I do have a nice job after all but i am not enjoying it due to my so called depression(for nothing).i didnt got promoted due to my bad performance.i dont have the intensity to put on the efforts to improve myself. I am a guy with a thin ,short  physique AND A VERY WEAK MENTAL STRENGTH.

I would have been living a great life only to my lack of efforts/intelligence. no worth in living life the way it is.As a child i had a totaly different image of      mine ,but grown to a totally negative person.I think no one likes me nor do  i like myself. I have started feeling even i am not so intelligent even  to live a AVERAGE live a average life .

My parents are very helpful, but cant understand the state of my mind ,neither cant I . their dreams shatttered when I dint live up to their expectations in my  academic life. They are right in their place as they had just average expectations for me.Now every thing looks gloomy for me

I just seemed to be lost and and the world seems to be light years ahead than me in terms of every possible thing.

JACK5326 JACK5326
26-30, M
2 Responses Mar 15, 2010

exactly like me...but my depression always had a reason.,..but were so many reasons that i could not concentrate for anything,..i missed all life for that and again a drama happened to me and i am in darkness.,i go to work and do my best not to loose it, but it needs much efforts....and to tell the truth while other have achieved something in their carieer and life, i have nothing.....

i tend to have the same problem and just seem to look at my life and think everything is total crap. unfortunately like your last commenter said i think this awful state of being is all in the mind. I dont know if you've heard of it and i havent explored it as much as i wont to but theres a thing called positive psychology. the point of this is that instead of your average type of counselling where you moan and groan and reflect on your bad bits, you look for good bits and alter your outlook on life... like i said have not explored it hugely but it may help you if you can afford to have some counselling sessions if you can find someone to use that approach with you. I've heard that laughter therapy is pretty good too for altering your perception of the world....