I Feel Angry and Bitter Sometimes
For the longest time, I denied that my little sister had a problem. I just told myself she was a teenager going through teenage stuff and living the teenage experience. Even through all the drunk nights, pills, experimenting.. I didn't want to believe there was anything wrong. I wanted to believe she'd grow out of it and be fine. Then I found out she was on meth.
When she told me, she had quit. Or so she'd told me. She lied to me so much.
But then it was like she started getting better.. She started going back to her old self. I could just tell.
Well, lately my mom's been suspicious. And my mom is famous for being suspicious. My sister had been going out late, and my mom had found her pipe and some paraphernalia and adderall and stuff at our old house. But she was sleeping, so I figured if she was sleeping, she wasn't doing meth, and that was enough for me. I'm famous for denying.
Well, today, my little brother's wallet went missing. We searched the house up and down. He knew he put it on the table in the kitchen, but it was gone. First thing my mom thought of was my sister. My brother and I automatically denied that. I mean, she apparently stole $900 from my mom when she was using, but.. Our little brother?
So then we find out she's using again.
So she probably stole his money. Her little brother, stole his CHRISTMAS MONEY.
$300. For meth.
How do you tell your little brother that?
This is insane.
She says she won't go to rehab unless she can pick the place, and we can't afford any of the places she picks. All I can think about is my little sister becoming someone she's not, losing herself, becoming a statistic.
I'm so mad that meth is stealing her soul.
Edit: We had a talk with her. It's so weird how unlike herself she is just from using one time. Unless she lied about that. She's pretty damn good at lying lately. Anyway, she agreed to pick a rehab from the list my mom gave her, the ones our insurance cover. And she admitted to having my brother's wallet. I could tell she at least felt remorse. And there was a note on the wallet saying she was borrowing $100 and would pay back $150. She still had all the money. She's just so messed up. She lives inside her head where everything she says and does is justified and ok, and she's paranoid that we all think she's a bad person, when we're all just worried about her and want her to get help. I know it's mainly the meth at this point, but it's hard not to pin it on her sometimes, honestly. She's playing the victim card HARD, and yea, meth sucks you in, but she made the initial choice. And I'm tired of her always saying "that's not what she wants to hear." cause if she doesn't start trying, things will get pretty hard for her and she needs to know that, whether she wants to hear it or not. Anyway, that's all.
When she told me, she had quit. Or so she'd told me. She lied to me so much.
But then it was like she started getting better.. She started going back to her old self. I could just tell.
Well, lately my mom's been suspicious. And my mom is famous for being suspicious. My sister had been going out late, and my mom had found her pipe and some paraphernalia and adderall and stuff at our old house. But she was sleeping, so I figured if she was sleeping, she wasn't doing meth, and that was enough for me. I'm famous for denying.
Well, today, my little brother's wallet went missing. We searched the house up and down. He knew he put it on the table in the kitchen, but it was gone. First thing my mom thought of was my sister. My brother and I automatically denied that. I mean, she apparently stole $900 from my mom when she was using, but.. Our little brother?
So then we find out she's using again.
So she probably stole his money. Her little brother, stole his CHRISTMAS MONEY.
$300. For meth.
How do you tell your little brother that?
This is insane.
She says she won't go to rehab unless she can pick the place, and we can't afford any of the places she picks. All I can think about is my little sister becoming someone she's not, losing herself, becoming a statistic.
I'm so mad that meth is stealing her soul.
Edit: We had a talk with her. It's so weird how unlike herself she is just from using one time. Unless she lied about that. She's pretty damn good at lying lately. Anyway, she agreed to pick a rehab from the list my mom gave her, the ones our insurance cover. And she admitted to having my brother's wallet. I could tell she at least felt remorse. And there was a note on the wallet saying she was borrowing $100 and would pay back $150. She still had all the money. She's just so messed up. She lives inside her head where everything she says and does is justified and ok, and she's paranoid that we all think she's a bad person, when we're all just worried about her and want her to get help. I know it's mainly the meth at this point, but it's hard not to pin it on her sometimes, honestly. She's playing the victim card HARD, and yea, meth sucks you in, but she made the initial choice. And I'm tired of her always saying "that's not what she wants to hear." cause if she doesn't start trying, things will get pretty hard for her and she needs to know that, whether she wants to hear it or not. Anyway, that's all.
By:
laurenlikespie
Age:
22-25
,
Female
