I Am In Love With Someone Who Isn't Over Their Past. It Kills Me.

I have been "in love" (more like infatuation) with a guy for three years. We had constant up and downs where he would get depressed and cut off communication with me for months. I would be so heart broken and miserable and most of the time he seemed fine. He would hurt but not over me. We started dating four months ago and the first month was terrible he constantly wanted to break up because he said we were temporary anyway. I fought so hard to keep him and we ended up staying together but by three months we started falling apart again. He constantly kept bringing up his "ex". They never even dated none of the girls hes talked to. I'm his first kiss. He hurts so much over them and I feel like I'm jealous because he's never hurt over me. I know its wrong but I want to have an impact on him the way he does to me. I want him to show me he cares, even a little. I feel so hurt and I dont know what to do, today he saw his "ex" change her facebook relationship status and those two had been dating for months but he saw that and got depressed and took it out me treating me bad and saying hurtful things, he wouldnt even say I love you back. I gave him so much and these girls wouldnt even pay attention to him. Its just really wearing me thin I feel like I'm going crazy and I dont know what to do. Please give me advice. I really do love him I'd take a bullet for him any day I just need things to get better and us both be happy. Help?
chooselife527 chooselife527
2 Responses Jan 7, 2013

It seems your feeling for him is incomparably stronger and durable than the opposite.
You're young and he seems not to become emotionally mature for long time to go. But if you're his first real gf than there is a great chance that you have made an intense imprint in his mind even when he yearns rather for other girls. So try to build on that impression and than step back, stay friends but give him space, do not chase after him, and wait if he turns back to you. 3 more years and you'll see, good luck. I'd been waiting for my first gf for 12 years, the I met my soulmate which I lived with for 5 years, then she left me and I'm trying to win her back in vain for 5 years already. Stable lovers have to be immensely patient but the reunion at the end is definitely worth the suffering. The same way Jesus patiently waits for everyone of us to drop their haughtiness and protest, and humbly turn back to him.

I'm sorry u goin trough this but u gotta b tough n if I dnt want to leave him thn try ur hardest like make him romantic dinner or something go to places n make memorable memories n tell him how much u love him n tht u always there for him no matter wat n make him forget his past by showing lots of love