I Feel Like I Am Dying

I have been with my girlfriend now for 8 years and I think and know that its coming to an end.  I feel completely lost, my heart is constantly hurting and I don't know how to make it stop.  She is the love of my life and now that she is running away from me and avoiding me I feel like I am missing something so deep in my heart that I don't know what to do.  She is/was my first serious relationship and I don't want to lose her, I don't want to lose her.  I can't stop worrying and crying and frankly if I believed there was a heaven I would probably off myself.  So here I am stuck in a perpetual hell with frankly no way out that I can see.  I immediately started calling counselors and I have an appointment in the morning but I just want to feel the way I felt when I held her in bed and when she would look at me with those eyes that looked as if I had just done a magic trick.  I'm here and hurting and I really wish there was someone I could talk to right now instead of tomorrow.  I don't know what i'm doing here.