Hit The Road Jack.

I felt more in-twine with my self as a youngster than I do today.Maybe its because of my bad experiences I've been threw.The reason they could been bad is because of myself.Trying to be something I'm not I'd say.I wasnt a bad kid.I do think we have bad seeds out here though but not me.Just bad decsions that came over me that wernet theyre a year ealrier.So it came quick.If I explain what state my life is in just plain its sucks.19 yr old , no friends, social skills ,I dont know how to ave fun anymore, I'm sure I do but It's been a long time since I've had real friends or made any real ones.I havent made friends on my own since like 6th grade I think so my social skills are in the gutter.Confindence thrown out the park by a homerun over the years esteem deep down half good half bad but in my situiation makes me feel bad.Spirit had gone down dramtically over the years that it downs me thinking back on how it was.Thinking life coundlnt get worse I think with all of this I'm socially akward and get nervous and feel werid in public even walking my cat I feel werid.Not that fact on walking my cat he;s a MainCoon breed but the fact that I'm there I feel werid.I used to be happy to show myself off cause I knew I looked good,I would force myself out there though I was nervous just cause I knew looked good.Not saying I dont know but I got a reaction before which now I dont feel anything I'm older not some much the school scene anymore.Now young adult looking back on things.Like shoot being 19 couldnt be any harder.I feel like normal lives are hard but this is under normal so I have to cacth up to normal :(.Then I would like to go over that :(.Which I love to think about but is daughting and more so unrealtisic but GOD can make things happen.But fear realityis scary and hurtful-THIS IS ME.
lonleystoner lonleystoner
22-25, M
Sep 12, 2012