Broken, Huh...

Broken is a good way to describe it. When you feel a hole, something that used to be there but isn't any more. Like you're missing a part of yourself. You feel damaged, and useless. Like nobody will or should want you because of it.. But I'll still keep pretending I don't feel that way, because it doesn't help anything.
vampes vampes
18-21, F
4 Responses Aug 4, 2010

Yes..Life can't just end because of that.. You just have to hope the feeling will change over time.

Yeah, I feel the same way, and yet I'll walk out my front door to go to work pretending everything is ok for yet another day.

Thankyou for your advice :) I really appreciate that you took the time to tell me that.

Hey, i know how you feel. Ive been a very arogant and selfish person my entire life; I had no friends. Now, i dont have the fuel to preserve those character defects that were once useful. I guess what im saying is that things are changing for me. And i need to change accordingly. However, change is scary and its hard to tell how you will turn up on the other end. For instance,...if im not as selfish or arrogant will i become the complete opposite. So you linger and think. Which is making you feel vulnerable because your not standing for anything, but falling for everything. But with change, atleast, i will be moving and learning instead of standing still. This is how i honestly see this. Usually i get unhappy and impatient when i fall back into those old habits, habits that used to produce a certain level of happiness, and i try to find happiness in those things again but then i feel as though the happiness is being forced instead of just happening sporadically. You may be changing, and that hole will be filled with something bigger, and wiser. Just makes sure it feels right and stay around positive people. The more i do this the more i realize that those character defects were just a cover up for what really was- i was lonely, empty, and worthless, and i didnt know it. Now i have friends and i can face the truth within myself.