No Joy

I have a hard time finding joy in anything anymore. I don't get excited about things and have no hope. Yet somehow I can feel disappointed and hurt by things. The part of me that lets me experience joy is broken.
Meowderkatze Meowderkatze
36-40, F
4 Responses Dec 27, 2010

I feel the same :( It's weird because there is so much good in my life. I'm 21 years old, just graduated college, only have a loan of $2,000 to pay (for my whole schooling), and I am sure there is plenty more...but all I do is dwell on the negative. Sometimes I get so depressed I don't want to love anymore. It's funny because when I l list all the things wrong, it seems childish, but noone knows how it hurts on the inside. I'm overly sensitive so the smallest thing can get me down in the gutter.

Well, depression is depressing but worse than being depressed, or discouraged (duh).<br />
But, hey, there are things that help pull you out of dull drums: get naked get some sun (daily) eat unprocessed cocoa, do breathing exercises until you're giddy, think about love--not sour love, not crusty love, not lost love--the feeling you get when you love something or someone (think about the feeling and choose to feel that).<br />
Your body will get used to feeling good then joy returns.<br />
Also, try good long belly laughs; you don't have to think about anything funny really, just laugh as though you heard the funniest thing. Do it for 20 to 30 mins; just laugh, laugh at yourself in the mirror, laugh at your breakfast cereal, laugh at your clothes hamper, laugh just because you are able to not necesarily that anything is funny.<br />
Doing all these things tricks your body and brain into thinking you are very happy, then you reap the benefits of a return to basic joy.<br />
Works for most poople.

I feel the same way, I've been so seperated from people that I don't know how to deal with something as simple as a conversation, I went on a date for the first time in years a few days ago with a gorgeous woman and I know I should be happy but I'm not, I didn't feel anything, I didn't even feel attracted to her, she's young and very attractive by some miracle she asked me out, but I feel dead inside, like I haven't allowed my self to feel in such a long time that I no long posses the ability to feel<br />
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I hate my job, I work in the middle of the night, I'm in tens of thousands in student debt, can't find work in my field been trying to for three years and can't even get an interview anymore, have no friends, I've just been pushing my feelings aside trying to get through day by day and somewhere a long the way something inside me just broke.<br />
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I don't feel anything anymore, I just lost all hope so I can't even feel happy, I haven't smiled and meant it in years, I don't feel happy hell I don't even feel sad, I've just become a mindless robot with no soul, I don't care about anything anymore, I just follow the same routine day in and day out.<br />
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Work, tv, video game,sleep, for the last three years, I work 6 days a week for not much pay, alone and in the middle of the night. I don't even see my boss but once a week.<br />
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Its like somewhere along the way I just snapped, Honestly I don't even care if I live or die anymore, only thing I still care about is work and paying bills but just barely, I'm sure that one day I'll stop caring about that too<br />
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I googled I feel broke and found this posting and thought maybe sharing with someone who feels the same would help.<br />
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So thanks for reading I hope you can find your soul again, I think mines gone for ever.

So much of this could have been written by me, with the exception of I don't work....I'm disabled due to a work injury 5 years ago, so I'm on disability.

No children at home, all grown &amp; on their own &amp; have little to nothing to do with me. When I had money to spend on them, they were always around, but when the bank account dried up &amp; became only enough to barely support me they had no time for me anymore. There's a LOT more to that part of my situation, but I won't go into it right now. This is my first time posting so I'm not sure what else to say. I had just reached a point of feeling like I'm so broken and will never be fixable and got up &amp; did a Google search for that this morning &amp; it led me here. Kind of like you.

I'm not sure it will help, but SOMETHING somewhere has to or I'm going to get even more worried than I already am.

Thanks for listening :) I really appreciate it. have a lot going on. I feel the same with dates...or maybe just love in general. I am not interested in anyone or even check out people anymore. I am interested in one person, but he broke my heart and I can't seem to get over it. I am in this slum it feels like. I have no interest in trying to be with or date anyone else.

I also cannot find work in my field and am starting to go overboard with my credit cards. I don't buy things I don't need...but I consider food a necessity and since I depressed I just love to eat. I go out to eat about 2 times a day. I hope I find work soon because I worry at this young age I am going to ruin my credit. I got credit to build it :(

I also don't have any friends right now. There's noone I feel I can talk to about things or trust. Noone I can cry to. I keep to myself and occasionally hang out with aquaintences.

I wish I could feel less. Pain and sadness are to overwhelming. I think I would rather feel zombie-like like you.

In this situations suicide is the best solution for those who have the guts to commit it.

I guess all that we can do is hope for a inspiration or at least a distraction! Hang in there!