The Endless Pain of

i just don't feel like breathing any sick...of everything i can't take it. its eating me up inside im think hed try to ask me out.sppt he'd rather die and so would sitting here in the dark.thinking about my life and how come its so crewl.thank you god (sarcasm)for making me live this longyou let the ones who wants to live die and the ones who wants to die you make em suffer by living.why am i living? i could just end it with a simple slitt across my rist.but nope i want to go to heaven and have a heavenly life of happiness.makes me look forward to the day i die huh...oh i can't wait. maybe then iwould be happy but now its realitycits no fun,i can't tell if im living or if i died and went to not happy sad all the time looking at his pic wishing he'd be mine. a girl can dream can she? well thats the thing abotu dreams you wake up andyou come to reality.

Jordanne Jordanne
18-21, F
4 Responses Apr 9, 2007

<p>You are very young,you feel that you cannot love anyone or will never be able to love anyone the way you love him,it hurts terribly,nothing else matters,I know I have been there too,you need to share that pain with someone,someone you can unburden yourself to,a counsellor who will give you the right kind of guidance,could your community center help you? There is so much for you to live for,so much ahead of you,there is a man out there who will love you,who will be available to you as it seem the one you pine for now is not.Do not lose heart.Hugs and take care.</P>

Story. Of. My. Life.

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired. <br />
Smile, even when you're trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision. <br />
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy. <br />
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to. <br />
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see. <br />
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you're afraid of what the dreams might bring. <br />
Run, even when it feels like you can't run any more.<br />
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience---you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don't live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.” <br />
― Alysha Speer<br />
<br />
Whatever happens, happens for the better. There's obviously someone better out there who deserves you.

Dang, it is hard to hear you in so much pain. Over a boy. There are SOO many things in this world worth living for... and I tried to kill myself for years. I never went anywhere with out a knife of some sort. You are on this planet for a purpose. Never think you are not. Boys come and boys go. You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. I know all this might sound cliche', but scarily enough.. it isn't. You seem to have a strong relationship with God, as you know him...believe that he wants you to be happy, and that perhaps, just perhaps, this boy is not the one for you. You are pretty young, but there is an old country song, "if it don't come easy, better let it go." I know at your age, you want a boyfriend, "everyone else" has one, and crushes live strong and fierce. But there is someone out there for you. Don't rush it. You may not find him now, but he is out there. If you throw in the towel, you never will.