Mixed Emotions Of Sadness

Its hard to be stuck in a waiting game. Its been a little over a month and he still tells me he is confused but cares for me. I constantly tell him if he wants to end it just to end it and he wont. I still love him so much that I do not want to have any regrets for my actions. If he wants to end things I feel like he should have that on his shoulders. I wish i could see in his brain. I feel so lonely all the time..even when we are together. The thought of having to move on is scary for so many reasons (the thought of having to be without him each day, having to date, having to figure out how to have sex with someone else...hes been the only one ever, etc). Im finally at a point where i can think of some things he does that irritated be in the past but it is difficult because they are such small things and i was very happy. He is not a very emotional or touchy person and it didnt bother me to much. I try and tell myself well maybe he isnt the one like you thought..maybe someone out there will want to be more intimate with you. True or not I dont wanna be that with anyone else.
Basically, im trying to make myself get over the relationship even though it may not end. I dont know how long I can be in purgatory, but i fear how much worse i may feel alone. Having him was the support system i needed. Just the safety of him.
I am trying to be patient because i do not want to act out of a moment of anger or sadness. Its hard at night and early in the morning. I just want to cry or die or kill him and i can have all these emotions at one moment.
I dont know what I will do...will i know at some point? Will i be sure of myself ever?
whydoineedasn whydoineedasn
18-21
1 Response Sep 23, 2012

doesnt anyone on here have any advice? Seems like no one ever comments